House of Crows
by Eternity In Seconds
Summary: The story of Zuko's life as Firelord after the Day of Black Sun, his love for Katara, his family and the secrets better left buried. Freedom and Imprisonment; Duty and honour. Life can be divided into seven parts: Birth, Innocence, Awakening, Trial, Love, Loss, Death. Ch7 In Which The Secret Comes Out And Zuko Says I Love You... Canon Compliant with A:TLA, but Z/K all the way.
1. Loss, or One For Sorrow

**House of Crows**

**House of Crows (Vignettes)  
Title: House of Crows**  
**Author:** Eternity in Seconds  
**Rating:** T-ish M? Language (Zuko, Toph, Sokka…)  
**Pairings:** Well… Zutara, but not…_  
_**Summary: **Ending is beginning, beginning is ending. Freedom and Imprisonment walk hand in hand. Duty and honour are skewed. Life can be divided into seven parts: Birth, Innocence, Awakening, Trial, Love, Loss and Death…  
**Authors Note:** Vignettes. This is… different. It will have seven chapters, books or parts, whatever you want to call it. It WILL BE CANON COMPLIANT. Meaning Katara and Aang shack up and have little babies… I'm ignoring the comics. Each part will (hopefully) be no more than 5,000 words long. The Vignettes to follow are Heavily influenced by _To Build A Home_ by the Cinematic Orchestra; _Little Lies, Dreams and Landslide_ by Fleetwood Mac  
**Disclaimer:** Bryke own EVERYTHING. I may own the story herein this FanFiction and I may own some of the Original Characters, but the original idea belongs to them.

* * *

**Part The First: Loss  
One For Sorrow…**

* * *

**Spring, 113ASC  
Thirteenth Year of Firelord Zuko's Reign**

It was said in the Fire Nation that Agni only gave one life so that he could take another away. If that was the case, then Zuko could understand why he held a tiny newborn baby girl while a beloved woman burned ten metres away.

Firelady Issa had died a tragic death bringing Crown Princess Zeeri into the world. It had been terrible. The little princess had been born silent but breathing, so the Firelord had taken her to his breast and used his fire to help… or so was the rumour. The Firelord himself had no comment to make.

It was tradition in the Fire Nation to wear white on the day of a funeral. So, the newborn baby that should have been wearing elegant silks of red and gold instead wore stark white cloth. His normal robes were gone, and Zuko wore the white mourning robes of the Firelord. It was the second funeral in two years he'd had to attend where he'd actually known the dead well. The first had been Dowager Lady Ursa's funeral last year. The only difference was that today, his wife was not there to comfort him.

His wife was the one burning in the funeral pyre…

Irax - his greatest friend, his most trusted ally - stood next to him, eyes blood red. Zuko couldn't figure out if it was because Irax had been crying or because he had been drinking, but either way, Zuko wouldn't be able to help. In the courtyard, his people gathered together and cried and mourned and screamed their pain. They had come from every corner of the Fire Archipelago - the most Eastern of shores, to the very last Island under his command. The unity - the love his people were slowly building for him was incredible.

Zuko had been Firelord for thirteen years. He was twenty-eight, a father and a widower. He had been married to Issa for nearly a year. He had loved Issa for a year and a half. And now she was gone, burning in brilliant white light. It was his curse. Everyone he loved would die in the end or be lost to him forever. The Spirits would never allow him to be happy. Never allow him to find peace. He was repenting for the mistakes he had made, the mistakes his father had made, the mistakes his grandfather had made... the mistakes of every member of his Bloodline.

The doctor had said from the beginning that Issa's pregnancy was going to be testing. She had been a tiny lady, and the doctor said that carrying a baby was dangerous. But Issa had wanted to give Zuko his child, and Zuko hadn't ever been able to refuse her. It was one of his weaknesses. Just like his greatest weakness was Mast...

_NO!_

Issa had gone into labour a month early. Zuko had been with a young soldier called Irax. Irax was Zuko's most loyal and skilled body guard, a friend to both his wife and him, and a drinking buddy. Irax was Zuko's extended family in the same way that Toph was.

Zuko shifted Zeeri, not yet a week old, in the cradle of his arm. Her tiny hand fisted in his long, shoulder length hair. She was truly beautiful: a perfect balance of Issa and he. And when she smiled…

Zuko lost himself to the memory.

**xXx**

"Irax, you know that the people of the United Republic…"

Irax growled, twisting around and vehemently slamming his fist against the sandstone wall. Uncle Iroh didn't even flinch, taking another calm and careful sip of his ginseng tea. Jee was braced against the table, hands tightly wrapped around the edges. Zuko wore his favoured clothes; black pant, slipper-boots, red tunic. His hair hung around his shoulders, fringe falling in front of his face instead of being pinned back into a knot. His crown rested on the table in front of him.

"Irax…"

Spinning around, Irax stamped a foot. "No, Zuko! My place is here, with you and Issa. Not on a Spirits forsaken ship, floating aimlessly around as I parade as General of the United Forces! I can't leave…"

Even though Irax stopped his sentence, everyone in the room paused, knowing exactly what the young, usually calm-headed shoulder had been about to say. _Issa._ Zuko felt his face slip into the familiar emotionless mask that he favoured while in the Court.

"Issa wants this for you."

Irax froze.

Not so long ago, on Firelord Zuko's twenty-seventh birthday, he had proposed to Lady Issa while he had been on Ember Island, celebrating with his Uncle, his ward and his best friend, Irax. Everyone knew that part of the story. It was the other part that mattered.

Zuko, Issa and Irax had become close in the two years since Avatar Aang and Master Katara's wedding. Inseparable even. Zuko loved being around the two. And when Toph and Uncle got involved, it was like everything was perfect. The Court had been hounding Zuko for six years, forcing woman upon woman on him in hopes of Zuko falling head-over-heels in love and getting married on the spot. The Fire Throne needed heirs.

It had gotten to the point where the Court and the Council had given him an ultimatum: marry a woman of their choice by then end of the month, or abdicate the throne and all his power all together. Zuko's personal council – Jeong Jeong, Piando, Jee, Uncle and Toph – along with Issa and Irax, had been shocked. All the so called candidates were either traitors or completely power hungry. Zuko had already made his stance clear – if he was marrying, it would be to someone who would better the future of his nation.

In the end, Issa had come up with the idea. Zuko would marry her.

The only problem was that Issa and Irax were in love.

So, the three had developed the plan. Yes, Zuko and Issa would marry. They would be happily in love in public appearances. In private, however, Irax and Issa would continue their relationship. Eight months ago, Zuko and Issa had married. They'd slept together, making their union "official" in the eyes of the people and the Spirits. And that had been it. Issa and Irax would be together and Zuko would still rule over his Nation. Somehow, from their one night together, Issa became pregnant.

They knew the child was Zuko's because, as part of the deal, Irax and Issa didn't sleep together during the month before the wedding and during the month after.

"I'm not leaving Issa," Irax said, eyes flashing with a challenge.

Zuko smirked. "That's exactly what I told her."

Irax relaxed, collapsing into a chair with a sigh. Uncle laughed, clapping his hands, eyes hining. "Isn't love just marvellous my friends? When three people love each other, anything is possible!"

Jee groaned, facing colliding with his waiting palm. Zuko and Irax sighed in tandem. Silence ruled for six heartbeats, before Irax finally spoke. "How is she doing? Is Katara helping at all?"

Zuko saw Irax wince and felt his own body go tense and his face return to its blank slate. "_Master Katara _is the world's greatest healer. Issa informed me that she has never felt better throughout this whole pregnancy. She thanks you for bringing Master Katara up with you when you returned form Republic City."

_End of discussion_ hung in the air.

Once Upon A Time, he watched as a beautiful savage girl had spoken in soft, loving words and broken through every wall he'd ever created. He'd watched the dim emerald light bounce of her face as a single salty tear slid down her cheek as they mourned for the mothers they'd both lost. Zuko had watched himself start to love again.

He'd never stopped. He watched himself as he placed himself in front of a dark skinned girl wearing a bloody blue dress as a beautiful, astonishing bolt of blue light hurtled towards her heart. He'd watched as he had taken the light inside himself, sacrificing everything – everyone in the world - for the sake of one girl. He'd listened to her scream, watched her fight the blue light as ghostly hands pulled him down… down…down to the darkest places of the Spirit Realm where soft voices called out for him across the breeze.

He'd wanted to so desperately hold her close as her hands pulled him back up to the plane of the living, where her soft words and calloused hands sent shivers up and down his body and through his heart. He'd felt his heart break when she'd kissed the boy on the balcony.

Once Upon A Time, the Firelord had loved a waterbending master.

Irax didn't take the hint. "Zuko…"

"No, Irax."

The Firelord loved a waterbending master he could never have.

The doors burst open and the summer storm that had been threatening the sky all day exploded to life with a boom of thunder and crackle of lightning. "My Lord! Your wife… she's gone into labour… Master Katara…"

Irax and Zuko were out the door before he could finish. "Nephew!" Zuko heard his Uncle call. He didn't stop. Sprinting through the halls, the Firelord and his right-hand raced past servants and noblemen alike, shoving anyone who crossed their path out of the way.

"She's early, Zuko!" Irax's voice was laced with the same panic that roared in Zuko's head, blood and body. They rounded the last corner and the instincts of the Blue Spirit overcoming his body.

They burst through the doors. Zuko eyes immediately zeroed in on _Master Katara_ as she knelt beside his wife, who cradled a large, silent bundle in her arms. Issa and Katara looked up at the same time, eyes finding one of the two men's. Issa's found Irax's. Katara's found his.

His heart pounded, quickening like a nervous jackrabbits when faced with its hunter. Chocolate waves curling around her face, sticking to her forehead and cheeks and lips. Rose lips, slightly apart. Beautiful, enchanting, ocean eyes. Eyes that haunted his conscious, pulling and tugging at the part of him he was trying so hard to fight. The part that wanted her; the part that could never be allowed to win because it would hurt to many people.

Sometimes, Zuko hated being the Firelord.

It meant sacrificing everything for the good of the people.

"Zuko…" Zuko's eyes snapped away from Katara's mournful blue orbs and landed on Issa's dulled yellow ones. Zuko moved without thinking. The doctors and midwives moving silently out of his way. "She's beautiful, Zuko. She looks just like you…"

Zuko smiled faintly, lovingly moving a sticky piece of hair from her forehead. "That's not exactly a good thing, Issa. I'm not exactly attractive."

Issa shook her head vehemently, weakly. "How many times will I have to tell you otherwise?" She coughed and Zuko nearly cried out when he saw blood. "Promise me something, Zuko."

"Anything." Zuko whispered hyperaware of Irax's and Katara's eyes as they watched him.

"Stop."

Zuko blinked.

Then his eyes lit with realization.

And his stomach clenched in fear.

"Promise me that you'll be there for our little baby," Issa's voice was dry, the sound like sandpaper. "She'll need you more than most little girls need their father. And if you die being _Him, _our little one will have no one."

Zuko's hands had clenched into fists. He was sitting on the bed beside her, leaning over her with a hand buried in the sheets either side of her head. Her words were the thousand and one things he feared most.

"I promise, love. She won't ever be alone."

Issa smiled, her eyes fluttering like butterfly wings. "She's Zeeri. Princess Zeeri."

Irax was by the bed in an instant. "Of course she is…" Zuko whispered. Irax took Issa hands in his as Zuko took his daughter.

_Zeeri had been Irax's mother... _Zuko wanted to smile at his wife's cunning, but couldn't even bring himself to think about it. Their secret Trinity would be immortalised in his daughter.

"I love you… so much. It is always you." Irax was gasping, tears falling freely down his face. No one in the room would realise that those words were for him, and not for Zuko. Zuko closed his eyes, feeling the stinging of hot tears behind his eyelids. He opened them and turned his gaze to Issa who watched their little daughter.

Time stopped. Issa took her last breath and then there was nothing.

Zuko's shoulders shook with the sobs he tried desperately to repress. He closed his eyes, turning his inner eye to the centre of his fire and drawing on its steady flicker - like a second heartbeat, deep within him and scorching as hot as the sun. He breathe din and out, years of meditation instinctively taking over his body and calming him. _Issa is dead... Isaa is dead... Issa is dead... My fault... My fault..._

"Zuko..." Zuko opened his eyes, head snapping around to Irax. His eyes were wide, staring intently with a look of equal parts horror and despair.

"What is it?"

Irax shook his head, eyes focused on Zeeri's prone form in Issa's dead arms.

"She hasn't cried. Zeeri hasn't cried."

Zuko was by his dead wife's side in a second, startling Irax and the midwives. He picked up his baby, clutching her possessively in his arms, and listened. Her heartbeat was weakly beating, becoming terrifyingly slower and weaker with each pump. Her skin was cold - _it should have been warm, all Fire Nation babies are born hot_! - and her breathing was laboured.

"Everyone out." Zuko's voice cut the air like the guillotine that takes the traitors head. The midwives opened their mouths, protesting and yelling at him angrily: _How dare you?... We understand that you just lost your wife, My Lord, but the baby... No! Firelord, you cannot..._

_"_Get Out. Now."

Every candle burned higher, the air becoming hotter and hotter. Zuko hadn't raised his voice, but the emotionless tone was enough. They left. All except Master Katara. _My loyal, beautiful, stubborn Katara..._

Something deep inside Zuko - something far older then the Dragons and as old as Agni himself - was clawing at his mind. It was whispering to him, telling him to light the fire and make it hot. Ashes had been shoved to one side of the hearth, Zuko created a blaze with no problems. Irax sat by his wife, head bowed, crying silently. Katara took a deep, startled breathe as she watched Zuko.

Zuko kneelt down, the baby still cradled in his arms as he raised his body temperature to dangerous levels of heat. His body felt drowsy, the heat becoming to much, but it all faded away and Zuko was left alone with his primitive, primeval urge. He was seated directly on the stones bordering the fire, heedless of the soot and smoke staining his loose robe. He closed his eyes, sensing the inner fire of his Uncle in the doorway and Irax on the bed.

Lightning rocketed through his body again.

He opened his eyes. His hands were wreathed in flames.

_Gold. Green. Violet. Like sunlight through spring woods, or the sunrise after the storm. _

Zuko placed the baby on the coals, absently taking note of the way Katara dove towards him. Only his Uncles strong embrace kept her away. Zuko caught a flash of his Uncles face. Understanding. Worry. Disbelief. Zuko's fire turned white, the candles within the room dimmed and reignited into blue flames, and he ran his hands over the tiny form, picking her up and letting her curl in his lap. Every wash of fire chased a bit more blue from the child's skin.

"But how can it be? Only waterbenders can heal..." Katara breathed out behind him.

At last, a full-throated cry and Zeeri opened her eyes. Zuko felt the power disappear, spots colouring his vision, his body spasming and convulsing. He heard Katara screaming.

Katara caught both Zuko and his daughter, and then he saw no more.

* * *

**Late Winter, 153ASC  
Fifty-Third Year of Firelord Zuko's Reign**

The Avatar was dead and the world mourned.

Zuko stood with his daughter, Princess Zeeri and her ten year old son, Iroh II, as the line of casket-bearers carried the late Avatar down the road. Every citizen of Republic City stood on either side of the streets, at windows and on balcony's. People from the three nations had arrived from all over the world. Flowers littered the streets behind the procession; flowers littered the road in front as the people threw them up into the air. The winter sun hadn't even shown his head.

The Fire Family stood at the end, along with the Bei Fong family of Republic City. Toph's sightless eyes stared in the air, focusing on nothing. They were clouded and her body shook, and Zuko knew that she was holding back tears. Lin Bei Fing stood behind his grandson, hands on his white-clad shoulders. Lin had always loved Iroh.

Zeeri clasped his hand in hers, squeezing it lightly. The procession was at its end. The Avatar's family were making their way up the stairs. Bumi and Tenzin, Aang and Master Katara's two boys, carried the casket themselves.

"We are so sorry for your loss, Master Katara. The Fire Nation will do anything we can to support you in your time of sorrow," his daughter's voice was melodious, like Issa's had been, and he saw the waterbendering masters eyes flash.

"Thank you, Princess Zeeri," Master Katara paused and seemed to think about something hard. Zuko couldn't help the lurch his heart made as she bit her lip. After knowing her fifty-three years, he still acted like a fucking idiot and coward.

"I don't believe we've had the pleasure of being formally introduced," Aang's youngest – Tenzin? – said, bowing low. "I am Airbending Master Tenzin. You already know my brother Bumi… and I'm not entirely sure if you've met my sister, Kya."

Zeeri smiled benevolently and shook her head. "I believe the last time I saw Master Kya was when I was ten." Zeeri reached out and effortlessly dragged Iroh over. "This is my son, Iroh."

Iroh's face was studiously serious as he bowed low. Zuko couldn't help the small smile. The child was almost identical to him: serious, dedicated, loyal, stubborn, honour-driven. Iroh was his.

Zuko tensed when Kya, Master Katara's only girl, looked up at him, eyes blood red. The Waterbending Master looked almost exactly like her mother. But something in her face was… Zeeri offered her hand, and Zuko hoped that no one else would see what he saw. Like magnets, Zuko's eyes meet Master Katara's.

Zuko felt the weight of his melancholy like a ball of iron. It was on his shoulders, pinning his heart to the ground and binding his body tightly, constricting like a batsnake. It was his greatest regret… the fact that he had lied to the Avatar for thirty-nine years.

His sorrow was overwhelming. He remembered his wife, and wished that she was here to hold him close and tell him what he needed to hear.

His hand tightened around Zeeri's.

"I'm sorry that we could not meet under better circumstances, Master Tenzin," Zeeri said.

Zuko felt his heart bloom like a blossom. Even though he'd raised her alone, among the intrigue of the Court and the people who wanted him dead and buried, he had raised a daughter.

Katara – _no! Master Katara, remember she wanted nothing to do with me anymore…_ - Master Katara was watching him, cerulean eyes blazing like stars.

_Fifty years on and she's still so beautiful…_

"Zuko…" he froze. It had been thirty years. He'd been thirty-eight when she'd told him to stay away. He was sixty nine now, and still her voice was hypnotic; pulling him, bringing him tightly in to the light that was all her.

He waited and the silence stretched on a lifetime.

"Thank you for coming."

His heart broke all over again.

* * *

**A/N: **Wooho!** Part The First: Loss / One For Sorrow… **is complete and posted!

It is definitely different, something I have (personally) never seen before. I'd like to take the start of this Authors Note to thank a special author called EmaniaHilel, who write incredible, wonderful, magical stuff for (or, used to write incredible, wonderful, magical stuff) the _Teen Titans. _I recommend checking her shit out, because its brilliant, thought provoking and emotional. Her Robin/Raven (BEST PAIRING EVER! Besides Zuko/Katara anyway) collections and short stories are marvellous and my INSPRIATION for this little journey.

After the Seven Parts of this story are completed - BTW, I've done at least four out of five, but editing and changing and deleting is continually taking place - I have a Sequel-Of-Sorts prepared and roughly planned out, titled **Ruins of Crows...**

Featuring KORRA and IROH II (who you will see a lot of in this sequence).

Another thing I'd like to note - the stories will be interconnected (meaning they all occur in my HEAD CANON), but can be read as Stand Alones and Out or Order.

Please, I'd love it if any readers could Review - constructive criticism, is it good etc etc are welcome (VERY WELCOME!). NO FLAMES!

**Read and Review**

- Eternity In Silence


	2. Birth, or Two For Joy

**House of Crows (Vignettes)**

**Title: House of Crows**  
**Author:** Eternity in Seconds  
**Rating:** **M. Definitely M. May make the reader uncomfortable. PREPARE YOURSELF.**  
**Pairings:** Well… Zutara, but not…_  
_**Summary: **Ending is beginning, beginning is ending. Freedom and Imprisonment walk hand in hand. Duty and honour are skewed. Life can be divided into seven parts: Birth, Innocence, Awakening, Trial, Love, Loss and Death…  
**Authors Note:** Vignettes This is… different. It will have seven chapters, books or parts, whatever you want to call it. It WILL BE CANON COMPLIANT. Meaning Katara and Aang shack up and have little babies… I'm ignoring the comics. Heavily influenced by _To Build A Home_ by the Cinematic Orchestra; _Little Lies, Dreams and Landslide_ by Fleetwood Mac

From now on, updates will probably be about every fortnight. School goes back and I'll have SAC's and more SAC's and more SAC's and Exams (All those Aussie kids out there, do YA FEEL ME?!)  
**Disclaimer:** Bryke own EVERYTHING. I may own the story herein this FanFiction and I may own some of the Original Characters, but the original idea belongs to them.

* * *

**Part The Second: Birth  
Two For Joy…**

* * *

**Late Winter, 114ASC  
Fourteenth Year of Firelord Zuko's Reign**

Zeeri shrilled, exhilarated, as Zuko tossed her up into the air, catching her at the last possible second. She was nearly nine months old, and Zuko felt like it had been nine years. It had been hard at first; the long nights when she wouldn't stop crying, the first time he'd had to leave her alone. Raising a child and ruling a country did not walk hand in hand.

But he'd loved every minute of it. He'd been there, reaching out to her by the turtle duck pond, as she'd taken her first steps towards him. The midsummer's banquet, when he'd cried out in happiness after she'd said her first word: _Da-di_. Last week, when she'd sneezed fire and burnt the eyebrows off of the ridiculous Lady Chou.

Every minute was a triumph, every hour a miracle.

Some nights though, especially at the beginning, he had sat by her crib, in the room that had once belonged to his mother and then her mother, all night. Alert. Tense. Waiting. She'd been so sick when she had been born. She hadn't cried out. Hadn't made a noise. Her body had been cold. But when Zuko had taken her up in his arms, unbuttoning his shirt and placing her little naked body against his broad chest moments after Issa's spirit had departed the world, and used his inner fire to warm her…

He had decided to never let her go.

He had had so many regrets and so much pain in his life. Finding his mother, only to lose her two years later; letting Irax take the position of General of the Uniter Forces. But he had had moments of solace and peace. Adopting Toph… being the Father of the United Nations (because Aang wanted nothing to do with it at first, because it wasn't his way)… that night, a week after Issa's death…

Zeeri made a whistling noise, smacking her little fist on the top of Zuko's head in a bid for attention. He smirked. "Now, what did I say about whacking poor unsuspecting Firelord fathers?" Zeeri giggled and attacked him again. "You've done it now." Her eyes widened and then she was giggling madly as Zuko tickled her sides, the bottoms of her feet; blowing raspberries on her bare stomach and chubby cheeks.

She was incredible: vibrant, beautiful, living. She had quickly become his reason for continuing as Firelord, for making the decisions he did, for waking up every morning and going through the Hell On Earth that was his job. Zeeri was a huge part of his life. Eight months had been all and she was so firmly embedded into his life that he couldn't imagine it without her.

Just like with Katara…

Seeing her, these past two and a half weeks, had done nothing for his feelings. It strengthened them, empowered them. It made them louder and more forceful. Especially seeing her, belly large and skin glowing with pregnancy, playing and interacting with his daughter.

"My lord…" the Steward knocked politely on the door, entering and bowing in the traditional Fire Nation way. Zuko nodded, detangling Zeeri from his hair. She gurgled, clenching and unclenching her fists.

"Yes, Tatou?"

"The Lady Katara has gone into labour…"

Zuko looked up, startled. Zeeri cooed in unhappiness and confusion, golden eyes darting between his and Tatou's faces. "She's early… the baby isn't supposed to be due for another three weeks. The Avatar is flying over from the Southern Air temple as we speak, with Sokka and Suki… She can't go into labour now, she'll…" _she'll die like Issa died._

A scream pierced the air. Zeeri's face contorted in curiosity, then fear when she saw Zuko's face. Her bottom lip trembled. "She wants your assistance – in the birthing room."

Zeeri started crying. But for once, Zuko couldn't make himself turn around and go to her. He tensed, but didn't look back. Her crying turned to keening. _Katara is giving birth early… Katara is giving birth early… Katara needs my help… Katara… Labour… Early… Issa… Death_

"Send for Mistress Yew. My daughter knows her face," Zuko barked the order harshly. Tatou's eyes widened in fear, and Zuko briefly wondered at that. _I've tried my hardest not to be anything like my father, but I suppose my actions in the Revolution solidified the brutality and lengths I can go to when the people I care about are in jeopardy._

"_Zuko!"_ His blood ran cold at Katara's screams. He started running, full pelt, down the twisting corridors of the Unification Building. He burst through the doors, his mind bringing another moment to the forefront of his thoughts.

"What's happening?" Zuko demanded, scaring the apprentice midwife half to death. A detached part of his mind – the part that the Blue Spirit still lingered in, all vigilance and cold calculation - noted that all present where of Water Tribe descent.

_Outsider… Intruder… Why am I here?_

"The baby is the wrong way around, my l-l-l-lord. Ma-ma-master K-K-K-Katara cannot birth this baby," A young girl of no more than seventeen stuttered, eyes wide with fear.

An elderly matron growled frustratedly, pushing the stricken child out of the way. She was all business, but Zuko could see the unease in her eyes. "We need your expertise and unique abilities. Master Katara's baby is in the breech position - in which the baby enters the pelvis with the buttocks or feet first as opposed to the normal head first position. None here have the skill required to make the incision, and your firebending will help ease some-"

"Incision?" Zuko couldn't find it in himself to feel guilty about the edge and bite to his voice.

The matron nodded sagely. "We need to make a cut across her stomach…"

Zuko started moving before he'd completely processed the information, unbuttoning his robe and slipping it off, letting it fall to the ground, rolling his sleeves up to his elbows. "Just instruct me."

Katara screamed again. Sweat beaded her face, her eyes were dilated, and she gripped the sheets she lay on top of tightly, rips appearing from the force of her nails. Water in a nearby glass vibrated.

Zuko was handed a slim knife and a blazing candle. He took the flame from the candle, feeding it some of his fire, and held the blade above it. Finished, Zuko snuffed the flame and with steady hands held the blade over her stomach.

"Now…"

Zuko listened to the matron's instructions; Katara's screaming fading into the background. He carefully slid the knife into her flesh, her abdomen opening effortlessly. The Matron's voice was the only thought in his head: _Use a transverse cut just above the edge of the bladder… this should lessen the blood loss and will be the easiest to heal after you have finished... _

Finally, he caught sight of the baby inside Katara. Like the midwife had said, the baby had her feet first. His stomach lurched with guilt as he held the knife above Katara. _I'm so, so sorry. I promised never to hurt you, but yet I'm the hand that drives the blade through your flesh and determines whether you live or die… _

Blood trickled along her stomach.

She screamed again and started thrashing violently. Zuko dropped the knife, hands covered in blood and reached inside her…

He pulled the tiny baby girl from her. The Water Tribe healers immediately forced him out of the way, water glowing brightly around their hands as they worked to mend the incision he had created. Katara's groaning and moaning and screaming was a distant sound.

Zuko held the baby to his chest, completely ignoring the blood that covered his hands and the little baby girl. He watched her – watched her eyes flutter; her bound chest rise and fall quickly, her lips and body quivering.

Finally her breathing slowed and the healers pulled back, lines pulling around their eyes and mouths.

The girl was crying.

Zuko looked down at the tiny, bloody, dirty child in his arms and his breath caught. Chocolate skin, thick dark brown hair; lips the colour of a Fire Nation rose. She looked like Katara. Zuko couldn't see a single part of Aang in her.

_Beautiful… you'll be a heartbreaker, like your mother so unknowingly was. You'll be a great waterbender, kind and caring. You'll have a free spirit and grow up in a happy place, where pirates don't stalk the nights. You'll grow up playing with Zeeri and the two of you will become the closest friends. _Bright, deep blue eyes opened_. I'm sorry that your mother couldn't hold you first. _He snorted. _Sorry you had to see this horrible, twisted thing instead of your mothers beautiful face._

She had a pair of lungs on her. The baby's screaming was like a hundred thousand of the _bane sidthe's _of lore. It was loud, ear splitting, teeth clenching and hair curling. It was strained and colourful, and very, very healthy. Unlike Zeeri's birth, this little girl was sucking in the air like a greedy goldhoarder. Her face was scrunched up and her fists beat at the midwives hands and face as the unsuspecting and frazzled woman tried to calm her down and take her off Zuko's bloody hands.

Zuko couldn't help chuckling. Something wild and instinctive told him that this little girl was going to be double as stubborn and headstrong as both her mother and uncle combined. The baby stopped her shrieking and turned the full force of her big, huge, ocean blue eyes on him. Her face titled to the side, all bloody and dirty, and she watched him with the strange assertiveness that all babies have.

Her eyes hypnotised him like his own daughters had. They were beautiful, deep and flecked with gold.

"Where is she?" Zuko looked up and his burning golden gaze met Katara's glistening blue. Wordlessly, he took the blanket offered by the midwife and wrapped up the child.

He handed Katara her daughter and his heart stuttered, wondering after his own. Almost by magic, little Zeeri and Matron Yew entered Katara's bedroom. Zeeri's face split with happiness when she saw Katara and she made a happy sound in her throat. Zuko shushed her, giving her a quick tickle.

Zeeri watched Katara nurse her baby with a fascination akin to jealousy. Zuko watched to, even though he knew that it wasn't right and that it probably wasn't the honourable thing to do in this situation…

A part of him - the dark, twisted place that he dared not give a name to - wondered what it would have looked like if the baby had pale skin and golden eyes…

"Look at her," Katara whispered. "She's perfect." The child gurgled and a small smile appeared on Katara's lips. "Hello, my beautiful, wonderful, extraordinary girl. I'm your mother. And I'll love you for forever and a day."

The corners of Zuko's mouth pulled up involuntarily as he watched the mother and her baby interact. Zuko couldn't believe the brilliant love that shined through both their eyes.

_And I will look after you for forever and a day, little one… _

The teeny tiny life that had been Katara's joy these past eight months smiled up at Katara, giving a shrill and gurgle. Katara watched the baby smile and her face transformed. She lifted eager, ecstatic eyes to Zuko and he could imaging her bouncing up and down if she wasn't so tired.

Zuko smiled back, waving Zeeri's small hand at her as he held the baby close to his heart.

So quickly Zuko almost missed it, something flashed in Katara's eyes. Her smile faded and her lips parted open. Her eyes darted up and bore into Zuko's. They dropped to Zeeri as she gabbled then to her own little girl as she yawned against her breast. He saw something in her face – something torn between happiness and excitement and horror and despair.

It ripped his heart to shreds and he wanted to know what she had seen or thought.

He shifted uncomfortably with the feeling that she was looking into his souls as her big expressive eyes meet his again.

Then the matron stepped directly in her line of sight and the spell was broken. "I have to take her now, Master. You need to sleep and get back some energy; you lost quite a bit of blood…"

Katara nodded. "Okay." Her voice sounded small and tired; like a little child's. The matron lent over and started to bundle up the baby and tug her away, when Katara's arms tightened and her eyes widened in alarm.

"Wait! She doesn't have a name. I want to give her her name."

The Matron sighed, exasperated, but released her grip on Karara's daughter. "Kya."

**xXx**

When Aang, Sokka and Toph arrived two days later, Zuko stood off in the shadow, arms folded across his chest, frowning. A pretty picture was in front of him: a new mother, glowing with some inner light, cuddling her newborn baby to her chest as she lay in bed. To her left was her husband, kneeling on the ground beside the bed, smiling brightly and cooing at his daughter. Her brother sat at the end of the bed, looking every bit the proud and honoured uncle. Her best friend sat beside her.

It was perfect. The stuff of happily-ever-afters. So why did Zuko feel like the small crack in his chest was growing bigger, as pieces fell away and disappeared into the echoing darkness beneath? Why did he feel like something was missing? That something was so **utterly wrong?**

"Look at her teeny weeny hands! Who's adorable? You are. You're adorable. Oh yes you are. Ah goo goo goo goo gah."

"Sokka what the hell are you doing?"

"Talking to Kya."

"I'm pretty sure she won't understand you."

"Of course she won't understand me Aang! That's why I'm talking to her at her level!"

"Her level isn't idiot, Sokka."

"Hey!"

"Toph, that was a bit mean…"

"What? I'm sorry if I don't want to be in the same room as an idiot who thinks babies understand _ah frat ah noo yah mash crk lzzur gamba toto tu grrwlp_."

"I never said that!"

"Toph, why don't you hold Kya for a while?"

"Oh yeah, that's a great idea. Give the tiny baby to the blind chick to hold."

"Come on Toph! It isn't like I'm asking you to teach her how to swim! Just sit there, don't move, and hold her."

"Whatever, Twinkle Toes."

"Hey! It's my turn to hold her."

"Toph hasn't held her yet. It's Toph's turn."

He hoisted Zeeri on his hip, rocking her rhythmically as she slept in blissful innocent dreams. Toph was picking meaningless fights with Sokka, Aang was trying to be the peacekeeping Avatar and Sokka was acting like the idiot. Everything was right.

So why was he waging a war with himself over normalcy?

He knew the answer; one part of him screamed it – howling like wild and rabid hounds. Another part of him – the ultimately stronger part – flattened it down, pounding it into a cage deep within his mind. But still. He heard the cries as they carried on a non-existent wind.

_I should be the one next to her; smiling at _our_ daughter. _

_I should be the one trying to convince my best friend to hold my daughter. I should be the one keeping the peace between my brother-in-law and best friend. _

Then another voice; one as soothing as a spring wind and calm as a summer sea.

_Happiness is not something that our family has ever had. Being of our blood, Zuko, means accepting that happiness won't ever be in our life; that we will merely have to feel content. We will watch after our country, helping our people to find happiness. It is our duty as royalty – as leaders. That our people be happy. And because of this, we won't ever find happiness._

His mother had said that to him, once upon a summer, as she gazed at his Uncle while he tended to Lu Ten.

And she had been right.

Action may not always bring happiness; but there is no happiness without action.

He wondered why his mother had chosen this life; where happiness was only a distant dream. Then, he thought of his mother's face as she stared at Uncle and Lu Ten as they played by the old Cherry Blossom tree. He thought of the longing and melancholy etched in the lines of her mouth and the circles under her eyes.

If the closest thing to happiness is seeing the person you love most of all happy… Is it worth it?

He thought of her face, the pretty eyes and glossy hair fading away at the edges, when the long ago memory of he and Azula playing with their mother. Her ease and calm. Her peaceful tranquillity and pride.

Zuko didn't even need to think hard before answering. It was instantaneous. Instinctive.

_Yes._

**xXx**

He never asked Katara why she had frowned that day. Why panic and hysteria had crept into her eyes as she held her bloody newborn in her arms. He should have.

It wouldn't have become one of his regrets then.

* * *

**A/N: **Whew!** Part The Second: Birth / Two For Joy… **is complete and posted!

That was... not what I had originally expected. It had not been an impromptu caesarean section at the beginning (first plan), but I did some research... then researched some other stuff.. then some completely different research stuff... then BOOM! Zuko was slicing Katara open and pulling out a little baby girl called Kya. In both chapters, I have left some hints to the overall/over arching plot line. Can anyone pick it up?

Hint: It's all about the secret Zuko's been keeping (as stated in the Summary of the story).

If you can't get it, never fear! I'm hoping that when Chapter 7 rolls around - you know, after I've reached a HUNDRED BEAUTIFUL REVIEWS [hint, hint, cough, cough] - that everyone will be like SHE SAID WHAT NOW? Then go back and reread it and then be all OH SNAP! DID YOU SEE WHAT SHE DID THERE? I SAW WHAT SHE DID THERE!

Hmm... that's far to much capitalisation in a sentence. Oh well.

It is definitely different, something I have (personally) never seen before. I'd like to take the start of this Authors Note to thank a special author called EmaniaHilel, who writes incredible, wonderful, magical stuff for (or, used to write incredible, wonderful, magical stuff) the _Teen Titans. _I recommend checking her shit out, because its brilliant, thought provoking and emotional. Her Robin/Raven (BEST PAIRING EVER! Besides Zuko/Katara anyway) collections and short stories are marvellous and my INSPRIATION for this little journey.

After the Seven Parts of this story are completed - BTW, I've done at least four out of five, but editing and changing and deleting is continually taking place - I have a Sequel-Of-Sorts prepared and roughly planned out, titled **Ruins of Crows...**

Featuring KORRA and IROH II (who you will see a lot of in this sequence).

Please, I'd love it if any readers could Review - constructive criticism, is it good etc etc are welcome (VERY WELCOME!). NO FLAMES! I do want to get at least five reviews per chapter, but I'm not going to beg.

I know you people are out there...

**Read and Review**

**Read and Review**

**Read and Review**

**Read and Review**

- Eternity In Silence


	3. Awakening, or Three For A Girl

**House of Crows (Vignettes)**

**Title: **House of Crows  
**Author: **Eternity in Seconds  
**Rating: **T-ish M? Language (Zuko, Toph, Sokka…)  
**Pairings: **Well… Zutara, but not…_  
_**Summary: **Ending is beginning, beginning is ending. Freedom and Imprisonment walk hand in hand. Duty and honour are skewed. Life can be divided into seven parts: Birth, Innocence, Awakening, Trial, Love, Loss and Death…  
**Authors Note: **Vignettes This is… different. It will have seven chapters, books or parts, whatever you want to call it. It WILL BE CANON COMPLIANT. Meaning Katara and Aang shack up and have little babies… I'm ignoring the comics. Heavily influenced by _To Build A Home_ by the Cinematic Orchestra; _Little Lies, Dreams _and_ Landslide_ by Fleetwood Mac.  
**Disclaimer:** Bryke own EVERYTHING. I may own the story herein this FanFiction and I may own some of the Original Characters, but the original idea belongs to them.

* * *

**Part The Third: Awakening  
****Three For A Girl**…

* * *

**Midsummer, 119ASC  
Nineteenth Year of Firelord Zuko's Reign**

Zeeri is wide eyed as she walks the street next to him, wearing the clothes of the civilians around them: red tunic dress etched with black and tied at her skinny waist, black ankle sandals and a black hooded cape. Zuko can't help but smile at his daughters wide eyed excitement and disbelief.

Ember Island is alive as the people celebrate the Summer Equinox. Banners hang over head, black and red and gold – the colour of their Nation. Stalls are set up on either side of the street, selling wares of decorative masks, stunning spun glass, exotic fabrics and dresses, exquisite jewellery and weaponry. Zuko had already purchased an incredible bone-handle, star-steel dagger with a single, large, blood-red ruby set in gold. A new pair of duo swords were buckled to his back.

Zeeri carries a small bag. Zuko had been stunned when Uncle had returned with his daughter in tow, tottering a Blue Spirit mask. A smaller part of him had nodded in appreciation and thought: like father, like daughter.

The other part had opened the painful stitched up gash on his heart where Issa lived on.

"_Promise me something, Zuko."_

"_Anything." Zuko whispered hyperaware of Irax's and Katara's eyes as they watched him. _

"_Stop." _

_Zuko blinked. Then his eyes lit with realization. And his stomach clenched in fear._

"_Promise me that you'll be there for our little baby," Issa's voice was dry, the sound like sandpaper. "She'll need you more than most little girls need their father. And if you die being _Him_, our little one will have no one."_

Zeeri's high pitched laugh floated along the air and Zuko turned to watch her weaving in and out of five stilt walkers' legs along with another group of children. The stilt walkers pretended to flounder and the people stopped to stare and laugh.

Ember Island held a special place in his heart. Whenever he could, Zuko dragged his daughter down under the guise of seeing her Aunt Zuzie – because Zeeri had struggled to say Azula as a younger child, and even at seven, still favoured the old name.

It was similar to the way she called her Great Uncle **Gruncle**.

Zuko had released Azula from the mental institution in the summer before he'd turned twenty-three. The Court had been against it, but Zuko hated seeing his wild sister couped up in a cage. After nearly seven years, Zuko wanted Azula to have a life. Their father was alive and being held in a Republic City facility. Zuko had wanted him dead, but the Avatar had decided against it.

At first, Azula had stayed with him in the Palace. In the end, the memories the place held became too much and she started to fall ill again. Zuko, in a moment of somewhat rash thought, he had bought a small cottage on the beachfront at Ember Island.

Azula had been happy.

"When will we see Auntie Zuzie, Daddy?" Zeeri asked, big gold eyes pleading. Zuko felt his mouth twitch, threatening a smile. Those eyes would be the death of him, one day. He just knew it.

Instead, Zuko sighs, pretending to be annoyed. Uncle is chuckling behind him, shaking his snowy head. In a brief flash of red, Zuko catches sight of Azula, waiting by the pier. "Probably before you can ask that question again, Zeeri."

Zeeri turns, following his nod, and her face splits in two as she smiles. Without any indication or noise, Zeeri dashes, running headlong at Azula. "_Auntie Zuzie!" _Azula turns around, and even from his distance Zuko sees the flash of fear on her face. In the nick of time, she catches Zeeri before she can plummet into the water beneath.

Zuko and Uncle dawdled, taking a deliberately longer time to reach the two girls. Zeeri is chattering away at Azula at a million times the rate a normal person can, sounding exactly like a Flying Lemur, and Azula's cheeks are slightly flushed.

She looks healthy. She does not stand out overly in the crowd of tourists lingering on the wooden pier. No one is staring at her unkindly. An elderly couple Zuko knows live right next door to the princess are smiling happily and wave at Azula kindly. Azula waves back and Zuko feels his heart stumble. She is dressed in fine red tunic, a black thread-bare blanket wrapped around her shoulders. Her short hair is pinned back, away from the sharp panes of her face.

Azula looks up in the moment when Zeeri needs to take a breath, and catches sight of Zuko and Uncle as they wander over. Her eyes narrow slightly, but a thin smile pulls at her lips. Unceremoniously, she drops Zeeri back to the ground. Zeeri bounces back without a second thought, used to her Aunt's very strange and sometimes cold behaviour.

Azula exchanges a quick, warm greeting with Uncle, before he takes Zeeri's attention and directs it towards the boardwalk. Zuko and Azula watch each other in studious silence for five heartbeats before she whispers a hello.

He engulfs her in a hug. Young, strong, bold. A hug that is strong enough to carry all misery away; a hug that is like slipping under the covers of your own bed sheets after months of travelling. Zuko breaths in deeply, absorbing her scent of ocean and smoke.

"You're here," she whispers into the collar of his tunic. "You're really here. You came back. For a while I thought you had forgotten…"

It took Zuko a long time to get used to this new, hesitant Azula. He smiles at her words as they tumble over each other like excited puppy-rabbits. He shushes her and tightens his grip before releasing, brushing hair out of her eyes only to have it blow back a second later as the wind picks up.

"I'll never forget you. Even after I'm dead and gone, I will remember you."

* * *

Zuko finds himself laughing like a drunken idiot. Uncle had been foolish enough to mention a proverb along the lines of '_violence isn't the answer'_ while talking with his young great-niece. Zeeri, like Zuko and like his sister, had never been good with absolutes.

Ever.

Azula is beside him sitting on the couch, feet tucked underneath her, wrapped in her rug, hands clasping a fresh cup of tea. A small smirk is upon her lips. Zeeri is in the middle of listing all the situations where violence helps a great deal, and Uncle is casting Zuko worried looks over her head.

Zeeri was using Toph as an example of a situation where violence was the answer. "She stops bad people from doing bad things. And – and, if she hadn't stopped the bad people from doing bad things, there would have been lots of violence and blood and death and bad people doing bad things…"

Uncle stupidly sticks to his original point.

Finally, like any good Fire Nation History student, Zeeri brings up Uncle's Siege of Ba Sing Se (both of them) and the Battle of Sozin's Comet. "Ozai was going to kill everybody and rule the world. If the Avatar and Daddy hadn't put their foot down and said - _hey! We don't want you to do that thus we shall fight you to end it once and for all! –_ then the world would be a terrible place and I wouldn't have been born and …" here, Zeeri's eyes widened and her bottom lip trembled, "… and he would have done horrible, terrible things to Daddy."

Zuko closes his eyes and winces. After that particular History lesson, he had had a very strong and persuasive word to the tutor. It went along the lines of: _don't ever talk about my relationship with my father with her again or I will set fire to your house and kick your flaming arse from here to Lake Laogi. Understood?_

Zuko wasn't exactly proud of that.

He was still working on his people skills.

Zeeri's words had an adverse effect on everyone in the room. Uncle started to hastily backtrack, while Azula completely froze with a hand on Zuko's toned and scarred forearm, her nails digging into the flesh and drawing blood.

Panicking, Zuko looks hurriedly between his daughter and his sister. Zeeri is still too busy explaining all the bad things what would have happened if bad people had won – _like the terrible man named Zhao – you know, the one that tried to kill Daddy and the one who killed the moon?-_ and Uncle is still trying to recover from the casually spoken remark regarding his horrifying brother, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Remembered.

Zuko takes a deep breath and calms himself before trying to calm Azula.

"Shh, Azula. It's okay. Father is gone and he won't ever hurt us again. I promise that I'll protect you."

Azula shakes her head, bottom lip trembling. "He wouldn't have hurt me." They both knew that to be the ultimate truth: Azula would have lived as the Princess and Zuko would have died the Traitor.

Azula looked up at him, eyes wide and dusted with mist. "Why Zuko? After everything I did to you. How can you stand to be in the same room as me… to let your daughter near me?"

Zuko could only shrug. "Because you're my sister and I love you." It was such an obvious, basic answer. Love meant so little in today's times. People used it in everyday conversation to describe a cute puppy-rabbit and a funny comment. But, for Zuko and Azula, who had been born into a family where love was weakness, admitting love was…

"How do you have enough love?"

"Love doesn't have a limit – it never stops, never runs out. It's never the same."

"But it's exhausting… Having to love someone every single day… Even if they do terrible things..."

"Love moves happiness closer to your grasp."

"Why? Why spend all that effort when all love does is cause pain and suffering… and death?"

Zuko sighed, running a shaky hand through his shaggy hair. It feels good not to wear the crown, he decides. But he doesn't feel complete without it anymore. "No matter what you do in life, there will always be pain and suffering. Someone will always be getting hurt and someone will always be hurting someone. But, a life without love… it's a life half lived. You need love. You need to know that when times get terrible… when the world has been so dark that you've almost forgotten what light looks like… when you've fallen so far down that there is an impossible chance of getting back out… you need to know that someone is there, who loves you. You need to know that someone will be there for you, no matter what has happened and no matter what you've done. No matter what you will do. Love is beautiful. It's fragile. It's _breakable. _It breaks and makes you."

Azula stared at Zuko, her hawk-like eyes appraising him. "I've never had love…"

"That's because when we were little, we had to fight and bite and scream for anything resembling attention. We were born into dysfunction and disorder. And, for a long time, we were led to believe that love was weakness. And now, you're scared to love people. To open up. If you opened up, Azula, you'd see that so many people love you. And more people will love you when you start to give something back. It's infinite."

Azula rubbed at her wrists with long, lean fingers. Zuko eyes focused on the scars that would forever mar her otherwise perfect skin and feels that strange, fluid darkness inside him shiver and rise like a wave on a beach.

The darkness was hard to keep locked away.

"Did Uncle tell you that I went to Republic City for a week last month?" Azula asked, rubbing her wrist and playing with the frayed edge of the blanket. Zuko shook his head and Azula nodded. "Well, I did. I went alone-"

"Azula!" Zuko groaned, exasperated. Doesn't she realise how dangerous the world could be for her?

"-but Costa came anyway," Azula went on like Zuko hadn't interrupted. "He attempted to shadow me, the big dolt. I allowed him to believe that he was successful, but gave him the slip at the Ember Island Quay and jumped on a boat instead of taking the airship. When I arrived at the Yue Quay, the watertribe peasant-warrior was waiting…"

Azula fell silent, and Zuko fancied that her face took on a wistful sort-of longing. He wondered how exactly Sokka had known about his sisters arrival. And why he'd chosen to meet her at the terminal.

"He is some big-shot politician now. The leader of the Council… you know, the United Republic Council is the governing body of the United Republic of Nations. It is a deliberative assembly composed of representatives from the Earth Kingdom, Fire Nation, Air Nation, and both the Northern and Southern Water Tribes. The Council discusses governing and political affairs inside the City Hall, along with acting as the commanding body of the United Forces. The Council also serves as judge and jury in the case of trials Anyway, he was waiting and offered me a lift and then he told me all about his new job and position and importance," Azula's lip curled, "I told him I still won because I was a princess."

Zuko laughed, eyes watching his sisters face. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed that Uncle and Zeeri had moved to the kitchen. Uncle was attempting to teach his daughter the proper way to brew tea.

"He invited me to lunch at his house, even offered me a room and board. I accepted the offer of lunch, but declined the room," Azula said. "I'm not going to take charity form anyone."

Zuko rolled his eyes blatantly. Sokka had definitely** not** been offering charity…

"I'm glad you said yes. You need to interact with more people than just Uncle, Costa, Zeeri and I. Was it awkward – having lunch with just the two of you there, I mean?"

Azula shrugged daintily, slim shoulders tensing and relaxing. "We weren't alone. His niece and nephew where visiting while the Avatar and his wife prepared for the birth of their next child. Kya and Bumi are interesting children… very lively, to say the least. Bumi is also eternally dashing off to study shiny objects and pretty flowers…"

She stopped talking abruptly and her gaze slid to the kitchen doorway, where Zeeri was sitting on the counter top as Uncle demonstrated the proper way to pour tea. Her golden eyes blazed with something that Zuko couldn't identify.

"Kya is free and stubborn, both traits she inherited from her mother. She's also a surprisingly intelligent child, serious when she wants to be – which isn't very often, mind." Zuko got the feeling that Azula was heading towards a point. A calculating gleam was drifting in her golden eyes. "She looks familiar, Zuko."

Zuko tensed his jaw clenching and his hands curling into fists as they rested on his knees. "Azula…"

"How long have you known?"

"Since Bumi was born."

"Does he know? Does _she _realise?"

"I believe so… and I'm waiting for her to 'tell me' herself."

Azula shifted, unfurling her legs and bringing her knees up to her chest. Zuko was caught off guard by what she confided next. "Sometimes I pretend to be pregnant. Once a month, when my belly swells and my back aches, I pretend that it's a growing baby inside." Hands fisted tightly, nails digging into skin. "Is it wrong? To want something like that? To want a baby that's mine?"

Azula had always been a fantastic manipulator.

But she had been so easily manipulated.

"It's not my place."

"Zeeri deserves a sibling… What happens if you disappear, like mother? What happens if you die? Will you really leave her alone to face the world? To bear your burdens all by herself?"

Zuko wondered if Azula was only referring to Zeeri.

"She won't be alone. She'll have you." The conviction in his own voice surprised even him.

"She deserves better," was Azula's eventual, whispered, broken reply. "Which is why I want someone to kill me every time I pretended to be carrying a tiny, little, _innocent _baby inside me. What type of mother would I be? What type of monster would I be if I bought a baby into this world? I'd be a terrible mother. My baby would deserve better. I can't ever have kids."

_She says _can't_, not _won't_. I wonder if Sokka would…_

Zuko reached out, taking her hand and unwinding her fingers to twist his own between them. "I think the same thing every day. Zeeri deserves a father who isn't broken. Isn't scarred. Isn't a monster."

"You are no monster Zuko. And broken things can be fixed."

They sat in pensive, melancholic silence. Zeeri's high pitched squeals rolling through the house, followed closely by Uncle's wrapping laughter.

"Love breaks people, but it can fix them too."

* * *

******Authors Note: **Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! 

Firstly, real life got into the way. Secondly, I had to change my password then got locked out of FanFiction. Thirdly, I've been BAD and started writing about five other A:TLA and... other FanFiction stories. Apologises, but it's hear now!

Left more (blatantly obvious, in my opinion) hints to the over-arching plot/secret/BAM!moment. If you can't get it, never fear! I'm hoping that when Chapter 7 rolls around - you know, after I've reached a HUNDRED BEAUTIFUL REVIEWS [hint, hint, cough, cough] - that everyone will be like SHE SAID WHAT NOW? Then go back and reread it and then be all OH SNAP! DID YOU SEE WHAT SHE DID THERE? I SAW WHAT SHE DID THERE!

Hmm... that's far to much capitalisation in a sentence. Oh well.

It is definitely different, something I have (personally) never seen before. I'd like to take the start of this Authors Note to thank a special author called EmaniaHilel, who writes incredible, wonderful, magical stuff for (or, used to write incredible, wonderful, magical stuff) the _Teen Titans. _I recommend checking her shit out, because its brilliant, thought provoking and emotional. Her Robin/Raven (BEST PAIRING EVER! Besides Zuko/Katara anyway) collections and short stories are marvellous and my INSPRIATION for this little journey.

After the Seven Parts of this story are completed - BTW, I've done at least four out of five, but editing and changing and deleting is continually taking place - I have a Sequel-Of-Sorts prepared and roughly planned out, titled **Ruins of Crows...**

In this chapter, we don't see much Zutara anywhere (unless you've caught my hints/the general drift). BUT we see my other FAVOURITE PAIRING IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD! Take a random gander and guess my lovelies! This chapter was specifically a focus on the Zuko/Azula dynamic and their individuals views. They where both horribly abused as children and I wanted to bring that dark, haunting cloud through in their reflections and conversations.

In my personal opinion, I see Azula as eventually seeing the error of her ways and starting a fresh chapter in her **Epic Gothic Love Story Of Life. **I can really see her trying desperately to atone for all her sins, and moving to Ember Island where she had only good (ish) memories of her brother and mother. Azula has a fascinating psyche. A little narcissistic, a lot-a sadism and even some masochism. She's been raised in a world of pain and suffering, so I see her mind as being an offshot of that.

I see Zuko as one of the _everything-is-my-fault-I-should-be-dead_ types. After a life of being called a **failure** and a **good-for-nothing**, I see him being very judgemental and hard on himself. I also see his only daughter as his main reason besides his (passionate and angsty) love for Katara. Actually, I see his daughter completely eclipsing everything else. She is FIRST and will always be FIRST. She is the epitome of good and innocence and justice and beauty in his eyes, while he himself is something that only destroys and kills. He hates that. Azula feels something similar.

Iroh is just Iroh.

Another note on Azula: she want little kiddies. More then she wants to admit. She sees everything that Zeeri is, everything that Zeeri has made Zuko and everything that Zeeri has made her, and wants an Angel like that. But, her mind-set is very similar to Zuko's. E_verything-is-my-fault-I-should-be-dead_ types. In my head canon, I see Azula as a major influence on Zuko's life. She is the only part of his tormented past that he doesn't want to let go off.

In other words, _**SCREW THE COMICS!**_

I want to take now to thank all the wonderful people who have taken time out of their lives to read this here fanfic, and review and favourite and follow etc etc. It really means the world to me. The stats have been incredible and that means the world to me(all though I wish more people would review...!). Anyway, I'd like to take now to make the following announcement:

CHAPTER FOUR IS BEING A LITTLE B***H TO WRITE! I'm, like, 91% done and the last 9% is killing me. It just isn't coming. I'll try to get into it and crack it out, because my exams start in less then healf a month (oh shit I didn't actually realise until I wrote that! Crap crapcrapcrapcrap...).

But - this is not a joke - I've just come up with an idea while listening to the _Memoirs Of A Geisha_ Soundtrack, coupled with a little anime called _Clannad: After Story, _and I HAVE AN IDEA!

Hopefully, this time next week I'll have a new update! (Plus, I've all but finished Part 5 already!)

Read & Review (Pretty PLEASE!)  
Read & Review (Pretty PLEASE!)  
Read & Review (Pretty PLEASE!)  
Read & Review (Pretty PLEASE!)  
Read & Review (Pretty PLEASE!)  
Read & Review (Pretty PLEASE!)

- Eternity In Seconds


	4. Trial, or Four For A Boy

**House of Crows (Vignettes)  
****Title: House of Crows**  
**Author:** Eternity in Seconds  
**Rating:** T-ish M? Language (Zuko, Toph, Sokka…)  
**Pairings:** Well… Zutara, but not…_  
_**Summary: **Ending is beginning, beginning is ending. Freedom and Imprisonment walk hand in hand. Duty and honour are skewed. Life can be divided into seven parts: Birth, Innocence, Awakening, Trial, Love, Loss and Death…  
**Authors Note:** Vignettes This is… different. It will have seven chapters, books or parts, whatever you want to call it. It WILL BE CANON COMPLIANT. Meaning Katara and Aang shack up and have little babies… I'm ignoring the comics. Heavily influenced by _To Build A Home_ by the Cinematic Orchestra; _Little Lies, Dreams and Landslide_ by Fleetwood Mac.  
**Authors Note II: ** I even have a little playlist for this chapter!  
_+** Snowfield, Clannad: After Story - (Anime)**_** The Big One**  
Others:  
+ _The Place Where Dreams Come True_, _Clannad_ and _Clannad: After Story_ (Anime)  
+ _Sayuri's Theme_, _Memoirs of a Geisha_ (Movie)  
+ _The Girls Fantasy_, _Clannad: After Story_ (Anime)

**Disclaimer:** Bryke own EVERYTHING. I may own the story herein this FanFiction and I may own some of the Original Characters, but the original idea belongs to them. All mistakes are mine and mine alone. I do not have a Beta Reader, but I try my darndest to make this as grammatically sound as possible.

* * *

**Part The Fourth: Trial  
****Four For A Boy…**

* * *

**Winter, 107ASC  
Seventh Year of Firelord Zuko's Reign**

Katara was dying.

And it was his entire fault.

_Why did I agree to this? Why did I let her come? Why didn't I just say no when she asked? Why did she ask? She should have been with the majestic, All-Powerful, All-Mighty Avatar Aang. Why can't I stop feeling this way about her? Why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why…_

"Z-z-zs-zs-Zuko." His name was a broken prayer on her lips.

In one smooth motion, Zuko stood up from his position by the fire, staring out over the frosted lake as a soft covering of snow and rain fell around him in an icy blanket of glitter and tears. She was piled under all their furs and blankets, hidden under the mouth of a cave, another small fire burning next to her.

"Z-Z-Zu-k-k-k-o."

"Shh shh Katara. I'm here. I'm not going to leave." He placed a burning hand to her sweat-coated forehead, feeling her shiver beneath his palm. Her eyes fluttered and when they opened enough so he could see beneath her long, dark lashes all there was was an endless white streaked with red.

"Z-z-z-u-u-k-k-o…"

_Why was I so selfish?_

**xXx**

**Autumn, 107ASC  
Seventh Year of Firelord Zuko's Reign**

_Maybe I can make a law against the unwarranted murder of trees?_

Zuko had never wanted to burn something as much as he wanted to burn the piles on towers of paper in front of him right now.

_I mean seriously – it must be a crime to cut down so many trees to print and create so many pointless pieces of paper. So many Spirits must have died…_

Jee just kept bringing more and more up. Zuko really felt like asking where he managed to find these never-ending papers from. Zuko also wondered if he had made a deal with a particularly nasty Spirit. He could see the idea as the leading explanation. Revenge drove men to make deals with Spirits.

A knock sounded on his office door and Zuko resisted the very powerful urge to groan fire. Clearing his throat, he straightened his tunic and fixed the few stray pieces of hair that lay across his forehead. "Enter."

The head of the maid, Mira, popped through the crack between the door and the railing. "My Lord?"

Zuko sighed, relaxing in his chair and gestured the attractive girl inside. "Come in Mira. Sorry about the mess."

The maid looked at him in wide-eyed astonishment. Zuko bit the inside of his mouth to stop from sighing (again). The servants and workers within the palace walls still couldn't get used to his bearing and attitude. The first time he had apologised for something, the two girls he had been talking to fainted. The first man he had apologised to started grovelling at his feet, asking for mercy.

"Mira…" Zuko said wearily, propping his elbows up on the table and resting his head in his hands.

"Sorry my Lord," she stuttered. "Please forgive me."

"Mira…"

He looked up and immediately became uncomfortable. Mira was looking – gazing, more like – at him in a way that made him very uneasy. The only feeling he could compare it with was the feeling he got when someone was trying to kill him and he was watching the shadows prepared for a fight. He was almost a hundred per cent certain that Mira was not trying to kill him. Almost.

_Is that the way I look at Ka…_

Mira noticed his eyes on her and immediately started blushing, hyperactively flickering through the papers held in her arms while simultaneously balancing the tray she held in her left hand.

"Commander Jee sent me with more papers, Firelord. I also have Mistress Szarchi's tea and biscuits," Zuko tried not to look like an excited boy at Midsummer's as Mira explained. Szarchi was his head chef and her biscuits were to kill for. "Tatou also wants me to remind you that you have meetings this afternoon with the Lords of the seven eastern isles of the archipelago and a meeting with the war council at ten past noon."

In the distance, a bell tower started tolling. Zuko looked up from his biscuits and narrowed his eyes. "What's the time?"

"Noon."

Zuko was up and sprinting down the corridor, Mira close behind him in confusion as he started undoing ties and buttons on his shirt.

**xXx**

**Winter, 107ASC  
Seventh Year of Firelord Zuko's Reign**

The winds howled. The trees moaned. The leaves cried. The animals sung.

Katara got worse.

Her heartbeat was the soft beat of butterfly's wings beneath his calloused, rough finger tips. Her skin was hot – _too hot, nearly as hot as my own, water benders aren't supposed to get this hot _– and slick with sweat, dewed rain and melted snow.

It had been three days. Three days since Katara had suddenly collapsed to the ground, hands as cold as ice and skin as pale as snow. Two and a half days since she had slipped into unconsciousness and fallen into a sleep as tortured as his mind and heart. Two days since the snow had started falling in soft curtains from the grey and purple sky of the south-eastern Earth Kingdom. One and a half days since he had eaten anything. Since he had eaten. One day since the winds had started.

Days, days and days. Minutes that felt like hours and hours that felt like the span of a life; of an eternity.

_Katara please, wake up. You can't leave Sokka and Toph. You know if the two of them were left alone they'd try to kill each other. You can't just leave them all without a goodbye… and you can't abandon Aang._

The words wouldn't come.

Like so many other words.

The night passed in one endlessly monotonous waiting game. Zuko wondered when he'd last slept. Wondered when he had last eaten. Wondered when he had last firebent.

_I was so stupid, dragging you into this Katara. I was an idiot for agreeing when you asked to come. So selfish. I just wanted an excuse to see you, to spend time with you again. I'm so sorry. You said you wanted too and I don't think I'll ever be able to deny you anything you want. I've gotten you killed…_

Beside him, Katara whimpered and started thrashing under her piles of furs and blankets. Zuko jerked upright, hands burning blue. "Katara?" He moved to her side, dimming his hands and gently grasping her shoulders. Her body spasmed and her eyes opened, the pupils rolling into the back of her skull. Her hands were claws, attacking him and biting into his back.

"Easy Katara. It's me. It's Zuko. It's your strong-headed firebender. Please, calm down," He shushed, running a hand through her hair as he clasped her to his chest with iron arms. "Please stop Katara. You are only going to hurt yourself. Easy. Shh."

She stilled, her breathing ragged. Slowly he eased his hold around her. Her eyes flickered open and she coughed, blood splattering his chest.

"Z…z….z"

He shushed her again. "Are you thirsty? Do you want some water?"

She made a quiet _ah-ha_ low in her paper throat. He stood up, painfully removing himself from his place sitting cross-legged by her side. Joints creaked and bones popped – _is that even possible? _- and he winced as the four cracked ribs in his side ached. A huge bruise had formed, growing with each movement, and had encapsulated his entire side. Blood had started to ooze through the fabric bandages he had torn himself and bound himself.

Zuko cast her one quick look and started for the two canteens sitting by the front of the cave. He rummaged around in their rucksacks, pointedly ignoring the lack of everything, and picked up both of their remaining canteens. Biting his lower lip, he gave a rough tug to the rucksacks drawstring, shutting it.

Zuko sighed and stood up, creaking and cracking like the trees being battered by the winds outside their little cave. Quickly, he made his way over to Katara and knelt down beside her, cradling her head in one of his hands and keeping her upright.

"It's cold so drink it nice and slow." Katara gave him a look. "If you drink to quickly you may throw it all up again."

Katara eagerly met the canteen with her pale lips and took a few sips.

"It feels so good," she breathed out. Her voice was tired and strained, like every word was a struggle.

"That's good."

"Zuko," she paused, "I want to keep going."

"I know. But you have to wait until your better." _You have to get better._ "Where is it that you want to 'keep going to' anyway. We could go back to Ba Sing Se." _Where you and I first became friends_. "Ah, but it would be cold and dangerous in the winter. Is it to the south you want to go?" _Where your home is._ "Back to Kyoshi Island to see Suki and your brother? It would still be warm there, and you'd be surrounded by your friends." _Don't leave me._ "Lots of flowers and fresh baked bread just like you like." _Why can't you love me?_ "Or we could…"

"But I want to go now." Zuko's breath came in a short, sharp burst as Katara's dry voice interrupted him.

"As soon as you get better. How many times do I have to tell you?"

"I… I want to go to the lake right now."

"Katara," he whispered.

"It's got to be now," she said again, moving her very clear eyes to meet his. "We have to go now. Just you and me."

He stared at her, eyes searching. But he couldn't refuse, couldn't say no when she placed their names together in that way. Finally he put the canteen down on the cool rock beneath him and cradled her closer. "All right then. We can go. If you say we've got to go now, then we gotta go. But if you start feeling bad, you have to let me know."

Katara nodded and found strength to pull herself up and the blanket shifted off her bare shoulder. Zuko turned around, the top of his good ear going red, and allowed her this little shred of dignity and propriety before he turned around and took her hand. Her wrist was thin, her huge parka hung of her shockingly thin frame like the cloth on a Scarecrow's stick.

"Here, I'll carry you." Zuko turned around, bobbing down in front of her in the piggy-back ready position. "Climb on."

"I can walk on my own," Katara bit back.

"Don't force yourself."

"I want to walk with you, Zuko."

"I see…"

He couldn't argue with her.

"It's snowing."

"Do you like watching the snow fall, Katara."

"Yeah. Do you like watching it to?"

"Yeah…"

"It reminds me of home. And love."

She wasn't shivering. Zuko couldn't fathom whether this was a good or bad thing. Her tunic was ripped and shredded, parts of her wrappings showing through. Blood still coated her body, and he couldn't discern what was his and what was hers. The snow and rain were mixing together; the dried blood was starting to run as it trickled down their skin, mixing together and falling to the ground as one drop.

_We are one._

Katara stumbled and Zuko lurched, a hiss coming from his throat as his ribs and battered body screamed in protest against his quick movements. He caught her by her bicep, warranting a hiss from her bruised lips. He waited until she had her balance before releasing her.

There was a hand shaped bruise on her arm.

"I can do it…"

Zuko used silence as his response and took a position a hairs breadth away from her. Katara said nothing, but continued to painfully walk towards the icy lake. Their footsteps left imprints on the ground and Zuko couldn't believe how small her feet where compared to his.

Finally, a violent shiver rocketed up Katara's body and she spasmed, viciously, before falling to the ground with a cry. Zuko caught her. In one smooth and easy motion, he caught her, swept her legs up and held her the way a man holds his new bride when they enter their house for the first time.

Wordlessly, he took her to the lake and eased down, keeping her firmly in his lap. She shifted slowly, painfully until she was upright, her back pressed up against his chest and her head resting in the curve of his shoulder and neck.

The snow fell.

"Will you tell me a story, Zuko?" Her broken whisper broke through the quiet, graveyard silence that had descended over them. Zuko shifted, trying to ease the pain on his ribs.

"A story?"

**xXx**

**Autumn, 107ASC  
Seventh Year of Firelord Zuko's Reign**

The belltower chimed six.

Zuko had been in meetings for six hours. The War Council had gone smoothly as they prepared for the eventual attack of the Ozai and Azula supporters. The meeting with his High Court lords had gone as smoothly as it possibly could (which wasn't very smoothly) and he had spent the last two hours taking audiences with his people to help with their problems. Finally, the people had stopped coming in. Zuko sighed in relief and relaxed from his kneeling position and breathed out, the flames in front of him rising and lowering with his even breaths. A manservant announced the arrival of the Dragon of the West, General Iroh. Zuko's face immediately split in two and he stood up, parting the flames and walking down to greet his Uncle.

"Zuko my boy!" Uncle boomed, his voice bouncing off the marble and ebony pillars of the throne room. He engulfed Zuko in a Rabbitbear hug. "It has been far too long since you last came to Ba Sing Se to see your old, short and fat Uncle."

Zuko chuckled. Uncle was no longer fat, but trim and healthy. Zuko had given his Uncle charge of the Fire Nation forces that stayed in Ba Sing Se, helping the broken and untrained Ba Sing Se guard protect against the Dai Li insurgents and Ozai/Azula supporters. Zuko had to admit he was surprised by how short his Uncle was. Zuko had grown substantially in the years since he became Firelord (Uncle swore up and down that it was because he was drinking excellent tea every single day for breakfast, lunch and supper). At twenty-three, he was now taller than both Sokka and Aang, and even Hakoda.

"What are you doing here, Uncle? I thought you said that you wouldn't leave Ba Sing Se until you had grandchildren to visit," Zuko asked, releasing his Uncle and standing in front of him with half a worried and half a suspicious look on his face.

Uncle's jovial face fell and Zuko's heart lurched. "I come with bad tidings and painful rumours, nephew. May we sit?" Zuko's guards immediately set about finding a table and tea for their illustrious General. Zuko was perfectly able to take care of himself. Over the years, he had further developed his firebending skills and was now the equal of his Uncle and no one else (except maybe Jeong Jeong). His swordsmanship was only matched by Sokka and Piando. Guards were unnecessary.

When the tall, Amazonian Mistress Szarchi waddled in, laden with trays and tea, Uncle's eyes immediately took on an edge that usually meant 'conquering'. Zuko resisted the urge to hit his forehead against the table.

"What is this news, Uncle?" Zuko jumped the gun effectively, as Sokka of the Southern Water Tribe would say, Banning Target Practice before it could begin (Zuko just called it Cock Blocking).

Uncle's face dropped and he became the serious and world-renowned General. Zuko's stomach twisted and something dark in the back of his head told him that whatever his Uncle was about to say would change his life forever.

"Tatou," Zuko breathed quietly. His Head of Staff was at his side in an instant, appearing out of thin air. "No one is allowed in. Do you understand? No generals, no Court, no servants, no soldiers, no ladies, no lords."

"Yes, Firelord." Tatou gave a small bow and turned to the rest of the room. "Everyone out! Now!" Guards and maids shuffled out, bowing low to Zuko as they passed him. When Szarchi bowed, Zuko placed a hand on her arm.

When everyone had left the room, Zuko turned to his Uncle as Tatou and Szarchi sat down on opposite sides of the small tea table.

"Tell me."

His Uncle took a deep breath and stroked his beard. "Your mother has been spotted in the Earth Kingdom."

The Lady Ursa had been seen in a far west town called Kage-mura. Kage-mura was a place where the thieves, murderers, traitors and betrayers went when they didn't want to be found. It sat on an Island, just off the western shore of the Earth Kingdom. It was large, almost the same size as Caldera City, and built on top of an ancient village belonging to the First Benders.

Kage-mura was run by a Koya Gang, brutal and ruled by whim. Recently, a faction of rebels had started a Civil War against the Koya gang and Zuko had sent a small unit of specialised soldiers to help. Now, it seemed, his goodwill had startled Ursa out of hiding. She had fled to the mainland and believing her husband had found her. She had been sighted by at least three of Zuko's Fire Nation outposts.

"Kage-mura is a strong hold against the four nations," Uncle explained, nibbling on a ginger biscuit. "King Kuei described it as its own city-state, apart from the rest of the world with its own laws and beliefs. I cannot believe that I didn't think to look for your mother their while the two of us where in exile."

Zuko could only nod, dry-mouthed and speechless.

"This is all incredible," Szarchi whispered, clenching her hands around the delicate teacup, "but the problem is that it's too dangerous to send out a patrol or platoon. Military presence in the Earth Kingdom is already on very uneasy ground. If you suddenly send half your army, you may start another war."

"Szarchi is correct," Tatou said. "And you are only going off rumours. The places where Lady Ursa has been spotted are Earth Kingdom city-states that were violently against the Fire Nation when she escaped. They are still violently against Fire Nation presence as relationships stand at the present time. She is being clever."

"Ursa was always bright," Uncle murmured in agreement, staring into the water of his teacup.

"We are between a rock and a hard, sharp sword point it seems," Szarchi observed.

"What is that Water Tribe saying?" Tatou asked. "'_Out of the Fire Nation and into the pits of Hell_'?"

Zuko ran a hand through his unbound hair and pressed his wrists into his eyes, trying to stop the headache that was brewing in his mind. "She won't trust anyone. Especially no one from the Fire Nation."

"That is obvious," Tatou intoned.

"She'll only trust a face or person she knows is safe. Knows was against Ozai and Azulon during the war."

"That would be most of the Earth Kingdom," Szarchi observed.

"But she won't truth the Earth Kingdom. They know her face. If she still suspects that the war is going on, and then she'll also believe that the Earth Kingdom will still be after her as a War Prisoner. As a bargaining chip. Even though they know she is exiled, it will still be a blow at Fire Nation pride. '_Look, we have your Fire Lady_!' My mother will not trust Earth Kingdom soldiers."

"That leaves her with no one," Uncle said sadly, voice laced with bitterness.

"That is only if she doesn't know the war is over. If she knows that the war is over, she'll also know that Ozai has supporters all over the known world. She will know that relationships are sitting on a knife's edge."

"Correct."

"What does this mean for us?"

"It means that I'm the only one who can go," Zuko finished.

Before any of his council could object the double doors to his throne room burst open.

"I thought I said…" Tatou roared, standing up out of his chair only to stand petrified by its side. Ice stretched out across the floor, reaching like thin fingers into the room. His guards stood open mouthed by the door, looking faintly amused, while his servants waited outside, looking scared and lost and downright confused out of their minds. Katara just looked angry as she stormed into the throne room.

"We tried to keep her out," one guard Zuko knew to be Goro winced.

"Even explained our orders," the guard named Jigo agreed.

"But she said that didn't apply to her," Goro continued.

"Announcing the presence of _Waterbending Master_ Katara of the Northern and Southern Water Tribes, neither a Lady nor a Court member," Jiro finished before hurriedly shitting the frosty doors.

"What was so important that it made you believe that trying to lock me out when you knew I was coming was a good idea?"

"Hello Zuko. How are you Zuko? Sorry about scaring your staff to death Zuko, I promise I'll help replace the door I froze when I threw my tantrum." Instead of replying, Katara just narrowed her eyes dangerously and stomped towards he and his three companions.

Katara's anger slowly melted away as she came closer. "You look terrible. Like you've seen a ghost," Katara's big, blue eyes widened in horror. "Is it Azula? I thought she was doing better? Sokka said that the last time he visited her…"

"It is not my niece, Master Katara," Uncle interrupted, giving the waterbender a faint smile. "I was just delivering some startling news that only certain people should have been allowed to hear."

Katara's face dropped and Zuko felt his heart lurch. His Uncle's words were like a sword, piercing Katara's gut. She looked upset and hurt and betrayed beyond words, and Zuko wanted to burn his Uncle to a crisp. "What is it?"

"They found my mother," Zuko spoke over Tatou's excuses and Szarchi's fluttering words. "And I'm the only one who can go after her."

Katara's eyes hardened. "If that's all, then I'm coming with you.

**xXx**

**Winter, 107ASC  
Seventh Year of Firelord Zuko's Reign**

"What type of story?"

"One of… warmth and… ice. One with coldness… and a… burning… fire. One… with… hope, despair… love… and rage. One where the… good people… win, but don't… win." Laboured breathing. Slow speech.

"In the Second Age of the Dragon's Eye," he began, "the World of the Here and the Spirit World were at war. The War was started over a mortal girl, as most of the wars back then were. Two spirits had fallen in love with her, but she was married to a mortal King. One of the Spirits was Our Great Lord Agni-Of-The-Sun; the other was La-Of-The-Ocean. The girl was Hellan of Froi. Froi was a land to the Far West, across the Emerald Sea, where the people had spun hair of yellow and gold. She was beautiful. She'd caught the attention of Our Lord Agni when her husband, a Prince of Froi, had led her through the streets of their city. She had stopped in front of a group of orphans and, along with her handmaiden, had given each of the children a blood red apple and a large gold coin. Agni had been mesmerised by her generosity. Agni fell in love with her. Agni had loved many women – Spirit and mortal alike – because he was passion and fury and light.

"Hellan had caught the attention of Lord La on a brilliant night, when the moon was asleep and only the stars graced the skies. She had danced along with the beach with her handmaid, singing a song in her native tongue, and danced on the line where water met earth. Lord La had seen her dancing and fallen in love with her beauty and grace. He had ridden his chariot of coral, led by three sea foam horses, and spoken to her. Her handmaid had warned her, but Hellan had been hypnotised by the strange man. Before anything more could happen, Hellan's Prince had arrive on the beach and taken her back to the castle. He was too late though.

"For a complete moon cycle, Hellan took her maid down to the beach and danced. La would watch from his perch on the waves. On the night Hellan was supposed to wed, La took her from the beach at sunrise. Agni was furious. He sent a thousand Spirits out to find her. They scoured the globe, but hadn't found any trace of the girl. Lady Tui-Of-The-Moon took ill and the moon disappeared from the sky.

"Months passed and finally Agni had no other choice. He had always been in love with Tui, and had spent his days chasing her across the sky, but, knowing that he could never have her, he loved mortals. For Tui had always loved La. He knew that Tui's Inner Light was going out, so he left his Sky Kingdom and descended down into the Pits of Purgatory, where the worst mortals and Spirits were forced to stay for all eternity in pain and suffering. He travelled past the Plains of Everlasting Ice, he moved past the Grotto Of Despair, past the Fire Canyon of Endless Unrest until he arrived at the towering Black Ash Mountain. Then, he started climbing. He climbed and climbed and climbed, and he could feel the years he wasn't supposed to age come and go, until he finally came to the chained man at the top. And his Guardian.

"The Guardian turned to Agni and bowed deeply. Long ago, the Guardian had been a member of Akala– the Mistress of the Dawn and Agni's beloved daughter's – guard. He had been a strong and fearsome warrior during the last great War between Froi and the Fire Nation. The Guardian had been blessed by the Spirits of War and Chaos themselves. But, somehow, Akala had been murdered. La had been married to Akala at the time, and taken the Guardian's name, moulding the mask he wore as a member of the guard to the Guardian's face. Then, La had cast the Guardian out to serve Leelo, the Mother of the Dead.

"'_Guardian, I come to you in an hour of sorrow and pain_,' Agni said to the masked man. _'I come to you for help. The Moon's light is going out, and the Veil between Us and the Mortal World is tearing apart. You are my last hope._' Then Agni did something he had never done before. He bowed his head to the Guardian.

"The Guardian had always loved Agni, and appreciated and loved his people. The Guardian was also a Warrior of Order, and new that if the discord Agni was explaining continued, the world would forever be a place of Twilight and Shadow. So, the Guardian clasped his fist and bowed in the traditional style of Agni's people and offered his sword to the King of the Sun.

"Agni smiled._ 'From this day forth, you shall be one of my Blood Warriors. Thank you, Warrior-mine._' Together, they descended. '_Warrior-mine,' _Agni said,_ 'I do not wish another Spirit War upon the people. They almost did not survive the other one. You shall work in My Shadow and be My Shadow. My first task for you, Warrior-mine, is to find the Princess Hellan of Froi_.' Agni explained everything he could to the Warrior, then; '_Even if you succeed, Warrior-mine, I will never be able to have you with me in the sun. But there is a chance that you can join me of your own good deed. My test to you, Warrior-mine, is that you protect what is most precious to me. Like you once did with Akala.' _Agni said no more, for they had reached the Doors of Death, where Leelo the Dark Mother and her Three Dark Sisters waited.

"She did not bow nor did she greet the Sun King. Her crones did. '_I have seen the past, Sun-warrior. I have seen every mistake and every choice_,' the first Dark Sister said. '_I have seen the present, Sun-warrior. I have seen every decision and every choice,'_ the second Dark Sister said. '_I have seen the future, Sun-warrior. I have seen every decision not-yet made play out and every decision not-ever made occur. You walk a twisted path, Masked One. Your choice will determine the future and the past_.' Then the Dark Mother opened the gates and the two Sun-warriors left.

"The Guardian started on his quest. He searched for thirty days and thirty nights, finding only traces and whispers. He took a boat across the Crystal Channel and arrived in the wild terrain of the Eastern Earth Kingdom. The Guardian could already see the effects of the tearing Veil. The fields were barren, the woodlands untamed. The people were sick and desperate. It was not the world he left behind.

"On the thirty-sixth day, he was in a village on the top of a waterfall. The people hid from him, whispered and shut their windows and doors. He talked to the merchant who had the information he needed and bartered for the goods he needed. Then he was attacked by the servants of La. The Men and Spirits he had called brothers before he had been cast into Purgatory were out for his blood.

"The battle was fierce and blood ran like the rain in a Fire Nation Summer Storm. The Guardian defeated his enemies, but felt no pleasure or vindication. He felt empty and torn. A blade had pierced his gut, and he felt his life-blood leaving him. He sheathed his duo blades and fell down the cliff top that had been his battlefield. The Guardian had lost too much blood and drifted in and out of consciousness. He remembered floating in the soothing and cold waters of the river and being pulled by the current. He remembered a strange bird song as beautiful as he had ever heard, making all other forest sounds fall silent. He remembered soft hands tugging him out of the river, something as soft as spider silk brushing against his face, a scent so sweet it clouded all his senses. He felt soft hands taking away his weapons and clothes and tending to his wounds.

"Five days later, the Guardian woke up. He was in a little hut, really just a single room, with a fire burning low in the centre, its smoke dancing up into the hole cut out of the roof. A tiny cot was pressed against one wall and a sleeping figure breathed evenly beneath its ghostly white sheets.

"As silent as the night, he crept up to the sleeping figure and pressed his curved blade to their throat as he straddled their prone form. '_Do it,_' a low, throaty voice whispered in the dark. The Guardian was taken aback. He didn't do anything, simply stared at the slim woman in the bed beneath his thighs. She spoke again: '_Do it. Nothing is easier_.'

"'_Aren't you afraid?_' The Guardian hadn't meant to speak, but he had. The girl was quiet for a long time. The Guardian was about to slit her throat, thinking she had finally succumbed to the fear like a coward, when her soft words echoed through the hut again. '_Everyone dies, whether today or fifty years from now._'

"The Guardian was so taken aback by the girl's honesty - by her acceptance of death, by her beautiful and startling eyes - that he did something that he had never done before. He moved the blade from her throat and slid it back into its sheath. '_Are you the one who saved me?_' He asked, getting off her soft and smooth body. She nodded, sitting up in her small bed. '_Why?_'

"The girl didn't respond, but pulled a veil down over her face before he could look at her. '_You are looking for Hellen, are you not? Do not answer. I already know. I overheard the men talking to you on the cliff top as I searched for moonlace herbs. I can help you. I know where she is. I was her handmaiden. I told her to stay away from the bearded man, who looked too beautiful to be human. She did not listen. But, she saved my life once; when she bought me from the slave markets across the sea. I owe her a life debt. And I can repay it by helping you. Who are you, strange one, that can take on thrice as many men as himself and still survive?_'

"The Guardian looked at her like she was some exotic, strange animal. '_You talk too much. We need silence where we are going. Noise means death in war,' _he said, and the two left. They travelled together for a hundred and one days and nights before they finally reached the place where Hellen was being held captive. The Guardian told the girl to wait for him while he saved her mistress.

"The battle inside the Cathedral of New Moon was fierce. The Guardian and the men he and the girl had gathered to them in their travels took the palace by storm. He found Hellen of Froi, slung her over his shoulder, and took her away. But when they reached they place where the girl was supposed to be, she was gone. Giving Hellen to one of his trusted Generals, the Guardian went in search of her. He found her with La.

"When La saw the Guardian he exploded into a rage so powerful that the oceans beneath the Cathedral of New Moon turned blood red and the water started to boil, hissing and spitting like the infernos of Hell. The Guardian tried to soothe the Spirit, all the while trying to get the mortal girl who had become his friend away from his rage. But the Guardian could not. '_You are the reason that Akala is dead! You killed my love, No-Name, so shall I do what I should have on that day long ago. I shall take your life!'_ But, before La could cast his curse, the girl took La's very own dagger and stabbed him through his heart.

"There is one Law. Any mortal who slays a Spirit without being challenged by them shall perish and be sentenced to Purgatory. Spirits cannot die in the Human Realm, but whenever they are slain in it, they will take a new form. As La fell from the Cathedral of New Moon, his body glowed and he transformed into a fish. And the girl fell to the ground in agony.

"The Guardian went to her and took her in his arms. '_Why did you do that, girl?_' He said. And the girl replied, '_Because I love you my sweet, sad, foolish Blue Spirit_.' And then she disappeared in a cloud of smoke and starlight…"

* * *

******Authors Note: Ahem. **

******So much for a Vignette.**

Secondly: **Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! **

Real life got into the way. I had Exams and SACS and problematic relationship issues and general business blocking me and keeping me from posting this. Also, I got inspired and decided to rewrite the 3,000+ words I already had and this CAME OUT! Like some big, monstrous baby.

To make up for the terrible updating however, I have provided a COMPLETELY ZUTARA centric chappie. Inspired by a very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very emotional scene in a little anime called _Clannad: After Story_, this little vignette is all about forbidden love and family and Zuko's angst over Katara.

Admittedly, I was also a little disappointed (aka depressed) by the lack of reviews I received for the last chapter (aka NONE!).** Seriously, people, DO YOU HATE CUTE LITTLE ZUKO KIDDIES? Zeeri is EPIC AND INCREDIBLE (I may just be a little biased, however). And Azula, is, like, totally awesome!**

Anyway, I fell to the cliché of the Blue Spirit. The conclusion of this little Fire Nation Myth will appear in the next Part (For Silver) alongside... Wait for it... IROH II! Yes, Iroh from **The Legend of Korra** finally makes his big appearance/debut! As a cute little boy! CAN YOU SAY AWWWWWWWWW?

In this chapter, we don't see much of Zeeri or Daddy!Zuko. We do, however get Protective!Zuko and Loving!Zuko. Is that good enough? I've decided that the Search for Ursa wouldn't be something Zuko would just stumble upon and go out questing for willy-nilly. I think, in my personal head canon, Zuko would wait for something. A hint, a sighting, a big neon sign proudly proclaiming _**FIRELORD ZUKO! YOU'RE MUM IS THATA WAY!** _Ursa is a defining Force (capital F and everything), catalyst, character etc etc in Zuko's life. Everything to do with Ursa would be striking a nerve and very, very personal.

Katara immediately was all I AM COMING WITH! because she feels like she owes it too Zuko. He helped her find her mothers killer, helped her find peace etc etc and she wants to return to the favour. And she does have feelings for him. Zuko is her best friend (**Friendzoned!** Or is he...) and she cares for him deeply - maybe more deeply then she wants or cares to admit...

Iroh appears again in all his Iroh-y goodness! Plus, we have Tatou and newcomer Szarchi. Some Firelord Zuko, an attractive maid/servant/intern/secretary like character who only has eyes for our special Firelord and Tree Murder.

Hopefully this time next week I'll have a new update! (I HAVE FINISHED PART 5 [Editing and cleaning up is what I am doing])

House of Crows is: definitely different, something I have (personally) never seen before. Special thanks to author EmaniaHilel, who writes incredible, wonderful, magical stuff for (or, used to write incredible, wonderful, magical stuff for) the _Teen Titans._ Her Robin/Raven (BEST PAIRING EVER! Besides Zuko/Katara anyway) collections and short stories are marvellous and my INSPRIATION for this little journey.

Read & Review (Pretty PLEASE!)  
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- Eternity In Seconds


	5. Innocence, or Five For Silver

**House of Crows (Vignettes)  
****Title: House of Crows**  
**Author:** Eternity in Seconds  
**Rating:** T-ish M? Language (Zuko, Toph, Sokka…)  
**Pairings:** Well… Zutara, but not…_  
_**Summary: **Ending is beginning, beginning is ending. Freedom and Imprisonment walk hand in hand. Duty and honour are skewed. Life can be divided into seven parts: Birth, Innocence, Awakening, Trial, Love, Loss and Death…  
**Authors Note:** Vignettes This is… different. It will have seven chapters, books or parts, whatever you want to call it. It WILL BE CANON COMPLIANT. Meaning Katara and Aang shack up and have little babies… I'm ignoring the comics. Heavily influenced by _To Build A Home_ by the Cinematic Orchestra; _Little Lies, Dreams and Landslide_ by Fleetwood Mac  
**Disclaimer:** Bryke own EVERYTHING. I may own the story herein this FanFiction and I may own some of the Original Characters, but the original idea belongs to them.

* * *

**Part The Fifth: Innocence  
****Five For Silver…**

* * *

**Autumn, 152ASC  
Fifty-Second Year of Firelord Zuko's Reign**

"Well done, Iroh," Zuko yells as his young grandson executes an advanced firebending move and form. Iroh is barely nine, but he is at the level of the average fourteen year old. He is a protégé, like his Aunt, with the dedication and commitment of Zuko.

Usually, Zeeri oversees her young sons training, since she is the third person in known history – after her Aunt and father – to be able to produce the blue flames and most equipped to teach the young protégé. Today, though, Zeeri is in a meeting with the United Nations Generals at Zuko's orders (she needs to learn somewhere).

Iroh's shoulders are heaving, his bare chest gleams with sweat, but his toothy smile is bright and his eyes flash with pride and happiness. Zeeri is constantly teasing Zuko about his mini-shadow. But, deep down, he knows that the teasing stems from worry. Iroh strives so hard to be Zuko. But Zuko – and Zeeri – don't want him to be Zuko.

They want him to be Iroh, his namesake.

"Did you see that, grandfather?" Iroh is bouncing on his toes, his hair sticking to his sweat drenched face (the one thing Iroh has admitted is that he doesn't want Zuko's hair).

Zuko gives a small smile He never smiles completely. He hates that about himself, but he can't find it in himself to make it whole. His heart isn't completely whole. He remembers a long ago conversation with his sister about the breakability of hearts.

_Love breaks people, but it can fix them too._

Loss keeps tearing Zuko apart.

Iroh is moving through another set of _katas, _breathing slowly with measured breathes. Zuko is struck by the boy's resemblance to his mother. Iroh has none of his father – who died during Zeeri's pregnancy – but is all sharp angles and edges like Zuko and Azula. Zuko feels older then sixty-eight as he watches Iroh execute a perfect high flame kick.

_Was Uncle really this old when he travelled the world with me in exile?_

Then again, Zuko is fitter then some of his young soldiers. This men joke that the Firelord is a young man trapped in an old man's body. But none joke when they see the Firelord fight some of his new soldiers and higher Generals. Especially considering that he always wins. Rumour has it that if he fought the Avatar while he wasn't in the Avatar State, the Firelord would win.

Iroh falls on his backside after trying to mimic Zuko's speciality move. Zuko resists the urge to laugh, instead favouring his favourite (and only) grandson with a mock-frown. Iroh stands in front of him, arms behind his back, toeing the ground with a slipper-boot and not making eye contact. "Iroh, what have I said about trying to do what I do?"

"Don't do it."

"Why?"

"Because I might get hurt."

"And why might you get hurt?"

"Because I haven't learnt how to properly do it and I still have trouble controlling my firebending."

Zuko stands in front of his grandson, arms crossed in front of his chest, and smirks down at the boy. His steward, Tatou, sits under the shade of an umbrella and smiles broadly when the Firelord looks up at him.

"My lord," Tatou says, "the training ground has been booked by one of the other young lordlings of Court."

Zuko nods in thanks before returning his attention to the young Princeling. "Come on. I think it's time to work on your swordsmanship."

Iroh's face jerks up quickly, splitting into a wide grin and he immediately picks up his black shirt and vest from where he discarded them earlier. Zuko shakes his head the entire time, chuckling under his breath, and starts towards his own private training ground and arena.

"Can you teach me the _duo_ now Grandfather? Please. I'm nearly an expert at the _wakizashi_ and _katana_. My sifu says that I am far too young to even start learning the _naginata_, plus he also says that my use of the_ tantō_ is great for my age."

Zuko nodded, amused by his grandsons enthusiasm. Iroh had shown interest in using blades and swords three years ago, when he was six. Zuko had been going through his _duo katas_ and Sokka had been warming up beside him.

Sokka had retired as Coucilman earlier in the year, and had been in the Fire Nation visiting Zuko, Azula and Zeeri. He hadn't yet met Iroh and that had been his excuse for the impromptu visit. Zuko knew otherwise though. He hadn't been the Blue Spirit for no bloody reason. He could still ninja like anyone's business.

That, and Azula had practically told him the real reason.

Sokka had thought that it would be fun to spar – _like old times sake, and if you really wanted to, I could throw my boomerang as you chase after me while firebending_ – and Zuko had readily agreed. The two students of Piando really did have no equal. Iroh had watched enthralled as Zuko and Sokka met each other blow for blow, parry for parry. After an hour, Zuko had come out victorious and Iroh had already committed himself to learning the art of the sword. The _duo _swords to exact.

Sometimes he could think back on it with a smile. Other times, he couldn't bring himself to even remember the day. Sokka had died six months later of a disease that had slowly been killing him for a year and a half.

Zuko hated the fact that Sokka hadn't told him. He hated Sokka for not telling Azula.

"Grandfather?" Iroh's voice broke through his thoughts. He looked down at the young boy, whose eyes were wide as he held the somewhat revered _duo_ swords in his hands. A wooden _katana_ was strapped to his waist.

"Thanks Iroh."

Zuko withdrew the blade, testing its familiar weight and rotating his wrist as he reacquainted himself with the weapon. Iroh watched starry-eyed and hypnotised. Zuko bit his lip.

"How about I tell you a story instead?" Iroh looked taken aback by the uncharacteristic words.

"What sort of story?"

"One with adventure and fighting and fire and intrigue."

Iroh's eyes widened. "No romance?"

Zuko shrugged. "Do you want romance?"

"No."

"Fine then. A long time-"

"Is it about the Blue Spirit?" Iroh interrupted.

"What?" Zuko spluttered, surprised.

Iroh's cheeks flushed with colour and he rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly Zuko was struck by the small gesture. It was exactly what he did when he'd realised he might have made a blunder or mistake.

**xXx**

**Spring, 150ASC  
Fiftieth Year of Firelord Zuko's Reign**

Zeeri rubbed her temples, squeezing her eyes tightly as she tried to processes what the teacher was telling her.

"You're telling me that my son got into a fight over nothing in particular and he is now being expelled with no further questioning while the other three boys involved are merely getting a suspension?"

Her two hand maids winced and shifted uncomfortably. Zuko himself sighed in exasperation and pinched the bridge of his nose. She's was getting that tone of voice. The _this-is-my-little-baby-and-I-will-protect-_him tone.

The teacher blinked in reply. "Yes."

Zeeri growled audibly and narrowed her golden eyes at the teacher. "Why?" She paused and at Zuko's deliberate look, continued: "May I ask, sir?"

"Because he sent three boys to the Royal Hospital."

"You yourself said that they started the tussle. Why is Iroh being punished alone?"

"Because he _sent three boys to the Royal Hospital alone. _I'm sorry my lady, but your son's talents-"

"Talents?"

"- Are dangerous. I am not saying that he is a bad or ill-tempered student. Quite the contrary actually. Prince Iroh is top of all his classes and is patient and courteous to an extreme. He doesn't interact with many of the other children – none, actually, besides yesterday's spat – and keeps to himself. He may be one of the brightest students the school has seen for a very long time."

"Then what's the problem?"

"That is the problem. He has raw talent. This talent is half the problem. Your son isn't challenged at our school in the way he should be and is brighter than most of the students five years older than him. Because he knows the subject content, has firebending skill far beyond any other of his age and has… other talents, that I'm informed his grandfather has been teaching him personally..."

Zuko winced, but Zeeri didn't even take her eyes off the toad-faced man in front of her. "I still can't see your reasons, Master Pyrrus."

Master Pyrrus of the Ashton Academy's face turned an alarming shade of purple and Zuko marvelled at his ability to change colour. Maybe he was part toad? "Your son is a danger to the other students. He himself said that the boys were just being _annoying_ when he decided to attack them. Three boys two years older than him and he put them into the hospital. That boy is a danger to all the other children and is just like his grandfather. There will not be a place at Ashton for him!"

Mimi, one of Zeeri's maids, gasped out loud and covered her mouth with a dainty white hand. Master Pyrrus was panting, his brow coated in a layer of sweat. No one spoke. No one made a move. All eyes flickered between Zuko – sitting as still and silent as a statue in his chair – and the toad professor.

Pyrrus noticed, eyes focusing on Zuko as he sat half cloaked in shadow. Then they widen dramatically in what could have been either fear, terror, or comprehension. Zuko placed his money on all of the above.

"Don't let the guards hit you on your way out, Master Pyrrus," Zeeri's voice was emotionless and her face was pulled in fury. The guards at Zuko's office doors stepped forward, menacingly moving their hands and letting them rest on the hilts of their swords.

"My lord, please forgive me! I did not mean-"

"Escort Pyrrus back to the gates now."

"My lord! Please, forgive me! I meant no offence! Please…" The guards did everything but physically pick the ridiculous man up as they left the room. Zeeri held the door open, silently fuming the entire time, and slammed it shut.

"How dare he! That man!" She couldn't properly form a sentence. The other set of doors opened as Zeeri furiously bent blue flames out the open window, screeching in anger. Iroh's eyes widened as he watched his mother loose her temper.

"Mother, I'm-"

"Tell me exactly what occurred, Iroh. Now." Zuko interrupted, giving Zeeri a scolding look as she tried to compose herself

Iroh was wide eyed as he replied. "Those boys were picking on a Northern Water Tribe girl. Calling her mudblooded and really mean names I didn't understand. They were all older than me by about two years, so I didn't know any of them. But whatever they were saying, it was making the girl cry. I told them to stop and they ignored me. I tried again and they turned on me, saying that I wasn't a Prince and that I had no right to boss them around. They said I was nothing but the grandson of a murdering bastardous traitor," Iroh struggled in the pronunciation and stumbled over the words before continuing. "By the way everyone was acting – a crowd had gathered – I knew that they had said something really terrible. Something that attacked the honour of our family. So I attacked them and beat them all. I was just trying to protect the girl's honour… and our families."

This was all for the honour of some girl he didn't know and the honour of Zuko?

Zuko couldn't identify the look that settled on Zeeri's face. "Thank you. You can go out and play with Tatou's twins now." When Iroh didn't move, Zeeri forced a smile. "Go on."

Iroh bowed to his mother and Zuko in the traditional way, before turning and sprinting out of the room. Mimi and the other maid bowed before leaving as well. The door shut behind them, leaving Zuko and Zeeri alone.

Zeeri's eyes were glazed over as she stared out of the window. "He's just like you. Protecting the honour of others..."

"I don't want your son to idolise me, Zeeri." Zuko's voice came out harsher then he had intended, causing Zeeri to snap back to reality and stare at him questioningly. "I'm not the role model he needs. I've done terrible things and made terrible mistakes. I don't want him to end up anything like me." Zuko ran a hand through his hair, removing the crown hairpiece and setting it down on the table. "He's never attacked anyone like this before Azula told him the stories of my Agni Kai's and the way I protected Toph's honour after she became pregnant and didn't announce the father. He was never violent. That's my influence. I was the one who insisted on teaching him self-defence and combat… This is my entire fault…"

Zeeri shook her head coming over to kneel in front of him. She took his face in her cool hands and forced him to look at her. "Enough Daddy. This isn't your fault. That disgusting man was right about one thing. Iroh is gifted. He's smart, just like Hiro is," Zeeri paused, biting her lip and closing her eyes as she fought the tears the thought of her husband always bought. "Just like Hiro _was_. He relates better to older children. He always has. He's more mature than anyone else his age. His skills are incredible. School isn't the right thing for him. He needs a tutor. He's always had one-on-one teaching – from me, from you, from Auntie Zuzie. He works harder than everyone else. Almost as hard as you had to work. He's striving to be the Grandfather he knows: the kind, just, patient, good Firelord. Not the hot-headed youth who wasn't exactly Prince Charming. And if he wants to be that man, then I'm fine with that. Just because you've made some terrible mistakes doesn't mean he will. Most of your mistakes were forced upon you and related to the world you lived in. My son lives in this world – the one you created where everyone is equal and things are fair and peace lives. You are a great man. Don't let the past or your past mistakes dictate the present. Don't let them keep you from happiness and living."

In that moment, it wasn't Zeeri talking to him. He wasn't in his office, surrounded by paper and ink and rules. He was in a moonpeach grove, away from everything and everyone. And a beautiful girl was holding his hand and whispering that he was good and that he meant something. He was looking at her face – dark and light, aged and youthful, cloaked in the silver of the moon – and he was falling in love.

**xXx**

**Autumn, 152ASC  
Fifty-Second Year of Firelord Zuko's Reign**

"I'm sorry," Iroh said, looking at his feet again. "It's just that Commander Toph was telling me about the Blue Spirit and about you and-"

"It's fine Iroh. I just haven't heard that name in a long, long time." He cast a bewildered look at his grandson and thought a moment before continuing. "I know a story or two about the Blue Spirit if you really want to hear one. But I warn you. It's older then I am and you may not like it."

Iroh shook his head enthusiastically. "No! I'll like it no matter what. I liked the ones Toph told, and you tell stories better than her anyway."

Zuko gave another small smile and nodded to a shady spot. Iroh happily rushed over, plopping down and leaning back against the tree trunk with wide, expectant eyes. Zuko made his way over in his own time and sat down besides his grandson. Clearing his throat, he started with some trepidation.

"In the Second Age of the Dragon's Eye," Zuko began, "the World of the Here and the Spirit World were at war. The War was started over a mortal girl, as most of the wars back then were."

_I haven't told this story in nearly forty-five years. _

"_Will you tell me a story, Zuko?" Her broken whisper…_

"_A story?" She was so weak. _"_What type of story?"_

"_One of… warmth and… ice. One with coldness… and a… burning… fire. One… with… hope, despair… love… and rage. One where the… good people… win, but don't… win." Laboured breathing. Slow speech._

"Grandfather?" Iroh's voice. Young. Strong. Complete. Not broken, not laboured, not slow. _If you keep living in the shadows of the past and could-have been, you'll never get to see the brightness or light or is of the present._

"I'm sorry," Zuko said, giving his grandson a tortured smile. "I haven't told that story in a long, long time."

A pause.

A beat.

A moment.

A secret.

"Tell me that story, grandfather," Iroh's quiet voice broke the heavy silence of the sins of the past. "You can tell me about the Blue Spirit before I go to bed tonight."

Zuko's tawny eyes flickered over his grandson's young, foolish, overly excited face. There was nothing malicious, no deception or manipulation. Pure and utter innocent curiosity. It was the look that only children could give, because it was a look of purity and naiveté, filled with the notion that good always won and that death was just a vacation.

"I was searching for your great-grandmother – my mother, Firelady Ursa," Zuko hesitantly breathed, watching the light bounce of the fountain under the breezeway. Iroh's eyes coloured with something old that Zuko couldn't put name to.

"No one ever talks about that." Carefully chosen. Selected with precision.

His grandson would make a fantastic politician. And leader.

"In the end, I didn't actually find her. She found my Uncle, who bought her home. And then she died a year later. But that wasn't when I told this story last. See, I was twenty-three and still trying to rebuild the Nation my father - Ozai - had destroyed. Seven years of rulership had felt like a decade. And then Uncle Iroh came and told me that someone had seen my mother - Grandmother Ursa. Then, Mast Waterbender Katara of the Southern Water Tribe..."

"I liked Master Katara when I met her last year. She was very nice to me. And Bumi gives me sweets whenever he stops by with the United Republic Fleet. He even sparred with me! I haven't seen Tenzin or her daughter yet. I wish I could see Master Katara again though. I really did like her."

_Me too_. Zuko managed a small smile and a chuckle. "So, Master Katara and I set out to find her. It was the end of a very cold and vicious autumn..."

**xXx**

Iroh watched, hypnotised, as Zuko finished describing the bloody and long battle of Freedom that the Blue Spirit had fought in.

"The Guardian went to her and took her in his arms. '_Why did you do that, girl?_' He said. And the girl replied, '_Because I love you my sweet, sad, foolish Blue Spirit_.' And then she disappeared in a cloud of smoke and starlight. The Guardian did not move. A day past and the moonless night appeared He felt the soft and weak rays of Tui and looked up to see her cold face in the sky as it blessed him, and he heard her voice upon the bitter wind giving him Her blessing and a position as her Warrior. A small part of the Guardian recognised that his job was done. The world was balanced once more and the War that would have ended humanity had ceased before it could start.

"Yet he could not move away from the girl. Her veil was still firmly in place, keeping her face a mystery shrouded in shadow and silk. The Guardian could not bring himself to remove the veil, though, because he didn't want to admit that he had failed when he needed to succeed. Cradling the girl tighter, he felt the sting of tears that would never fall and cursed La to every corner of Purgatory.

"Suddenly, '_You have saved us all with your sacrifice and quest for redemption. But you have failed. You could not protect what was most precious to the Sun King._'

"The Guardian growled at the most powerful Spirit in the known Realms. The Dark Mother did not flinch as he punched through a pillar, causing the rubble to fall into the ocean in the same way its master had fallen. '_I am here to take what you failed to protect. Agni wants his daughter back_.' The Guardian looked up, startled. '_Yes. The mortal you so sorrowfully mourn is of Agni's lifeblood_._ Mortal, she is now, but like all mortal children of Spirits who have done great deeds, she is too be made Spirit. But first, I must take hold of her Heart so I may add it to my Heart Vault.'_

"The Heart Vault was the place where all Spirits drew their immortality from. It was the place where their Hearts were kept alive by the Dark Mother - Mistress of Death.

'''_So,' _The Dark Mother continued as the Guardian returned to the girl's dead side._ 'If I take the girls Heart, she will move on to the Other Realms – to the Glades of Valour no doubt – and she will be forever happy and remember you. You will never see her again, because you will never belong in the Glades. But if you give me her Heart, you see her again but she will not remember you, though, Nameless. She will start anew in the role I give her."_

"The Guardian looked down at the daughter of Agni in silence and brushed away the dirt from her clothing. Tenderly he bought her cold body to his chest and held her close, burying his masked face into the crook of her neck. The silk of the Veil was soft against his neck and the Guardian regretted that he would never feel her against his face.

"'_What is your decision, Nameless?'_ the Dark Mother asked, her whispery voice brushing against him like a soothing balm. Death really was hypnotising; the greatest seductress the world would ever know. The Guardian released his tight grip but kept the girl to his chest. '_Take it. But you can't take her_.'

"The Dark Mother smiled and her midnight and shadow hair floated around her. '_The Choice is made._' So fast she was a blur, the Dark Mother moved, coming to kneel beside the Guardian. She tilted her head to one side, watching him in a way similar to how a bird watches a stalking cat, and opened her blood red lips in a silent question. The Guardian waited for her to speak, but the Dark Mother remained silent. Then, she forced her lips against his mask and thrust her hand forward, driving it into the mortal girl's chest. Her body jerked, spasming uncontrollably and a horrifying scream ripped from her mouth. The Guardian held her tight as another woman kissed him.

"'_I will miss you in Hell, beloved Nameless_," The Dark Mother whispered in his ear as she stood up, running a dainty hand along his masked cheek. '_Agni will come for his daughter as the sun rises in the eastern sky. I would recommend being long gone before that happens. Agni is blind in the darkness of night, but when the light of day touched the earth, he will know that his daughter is dead. Stay to my Shadows and Tui's hours, my Nameless one._'

"'_I am not Nameless,"_ The Guardian spoke, standing up as the Dark Mother turned away, allowing the girl to fall back to the cold earth, an empty shell. '_I am Blue Spirit._'

"The Dark Mother watched him in the same avian way and smiled. '_You are my Nameless one. You belong to me. A name given to you by some silly child doesn't change that. You are mine, just like she is now._' With a twitch of her cloak, Death vanished into the Night. The Blue Spirit knew that the Dark Mother was right. Turning to the girl he had come to love, he bent down and slowly lifted her veil. He pressed his masked lips to her bare cheek. '_Come find me in the future.'_ The Blue Spirit disappeared into the darkness of Tui…"

Zuko rolled his shoulders, hearing the pop of joints and looked up as the last few rays of sunlight drifted along his face.

"Is that it?" Zuko blinked, coming back to himself and glancing at his grandson. Iroh was sitting cross legged against the walls of the fountain, glaring open mouthed at Zuko with something akin to outrage.

"Is what it?"

"Is that the end? Is that how the Blue Spirits story ends?"

"Ah, yes?"

"That isn't fair!" Iroh exploded, standing upright and blasting a punch of fire into the dusk sky. "That isn't fair! He gave up everything – he betrayed his master, his family, to help that idiot Hellen! For what? For nothing! Agni turns his back on him, the Dark Mother practically abuses him and tells him that he will never find peace and he just listens? He doesn't even fight? AND!" Iroh was pacing now, throwing hands everywhere and spitting fire, "he doesn't ever see the love of his life again. He is so stupid."

"There's another part of the Dark Mother's offer, Iroh," Zuko says patiently, "if he goes after the girl and she remembers, she will be striped of her immortality and die."

"That still isn't fair, though!"

"I though you didn't want the version with all the romance?"

"Yeah, well, it still sucks. After everything he did, he still could have followed her. Gotten to know her and then she could have fallen in love with him again and they could of lived happily ever after."

"She was a servant of Agni and he was the servant of Tui and La. Fire and water."

"So?"

"They would have been scorned."

"It shouldn't matter. If you love someone, you shouldn't ever have to abandon them. No matter your race or culture or master or mistress or rank. If two people love each other, it should be enough. It shouldn't matter."

Zuko could only watch Iroh in stunned silence. Eventually, he managed to say; "She loved Agni."

"And? If Agni cared for her, he would let her be with the person that would make her happiest. The Blue Spirit would have made her happiest. Sure, they would have been scorned and looked down upon, but they would have had each other. And he wouldn't have to live alone with the memories of her and him and their time together haunting him."

Something inside Zuko collapsed. A wall he had long ago built crumbled, a rule he had put in place shattered. Thoughts of her – of Katara – flooded him, consuming him. Her face, her laugh, her smile, her anger, her tears, her eyes, her frustration, her love, her happiness, her wisdom.

And Zuko finally let them in.

"Iroh, you shouldn't yell at your grandfather like that." Zuko and Iroh both jumped, standing defensively as Azula and Zeeri smirked from the shadows of a pillar. Azula spoke to Iroh, but only had eyes for Zuko. "You were the one who asked for a story. And it is only that. A story."

Iroh shock his head viciously. "It isn't right, Aunty Zuzie."

"And what can you do about it, Iroh?" Zeeri asked, glancing at Zuko as he stared at Azula. He knew that they were thinking the exact same thing. "You can't do anything. That's just the way the world is."

"No!" Iroh stood upright, his manner and voice changing so quickly everyone turned to look at him. "No. I can do something. Today, I vow that when I fall in love, no matter with whom or when, I will marry them and only them. I will only marry for love! And I don't care if I have to change laws or give up the Fire Throne!"

And Zuko thought that no matter what he wanted, Iroh was always going to be like him.

* * *

******Authors Note: **

Look who updated when she said she would! Me! Three cheers for Eternity In Second! Hip Hip, HOORAY! Hip Hip, HOORAY! Hip Hip, HOORAY! Hip Hip, HOORAY! Hip Hip, HOORAY!

I really like this chapter. Like, really do. Admittedly, I still prefer Part Four, but meh. It's only because it is chock-a-block with ZUTARA goodness! I managed to fit nearly all of Zuko's amazing family into this chapter (Zeeri, Azula, Iroh II - unfortunately, Uncle Iroh has died. A moment of silence).

Anyway, I fell to the cliché of the Blue Spirit. I concluded my little legend and the complete, extended version of the tale will appear in the Legends Of The Fall: A House Of Crows Companion story. I am posting Legends of the Fall straight after this one. Go check it out. You get the official ending, not the cut back NO ROMANCE version Iroh wanted (then regretted asking for when he didn't get the happy ending). I'm not quite sure how I feel about this ending. I like it, don't get me wrong, but I may come back and rewrite the conversation with Iroh and Zuko at a later point.

So, in this chappie we see adorable, kick-ass Iroh II (who will play a major part in Ruins of Crows, the sequel I have planned for House of Crows focusing on Korra and her Gang). We see Iroh and Zuko's relationship through Zuko's eyes, and we also see all the feelings Zuko has regarding the hero-worship his grandson holds for him. I mean, in Legend of Korra, Iroh decided his choices based on what Zuko would have done. He really holds his grandfather highly. Zuko has been the only real male role-model in Iroh's life, since his father (Hiro) died before he was born. And Gruncle Iroh was mostly settled in Ba Sing Se, and did die years before. So Zuko took on the role of father/brother/grandfather. He has taught Iroh and explained things to Iroh. He has set an incredible example for Iroh to follow (except in the ways of Hair) and Iroh wants to be just like him.

Everyone else wants Iroh to be like his namesake. But, by the end of there story time, Zuko finally realises that that will never happen.

Iroh's views of the world - even though he is only nine - are striking to Zuko, because it is what he always wished he had been able to do. Zuko, for a long time, had the same views. But, eventually he came to realise that if you love something, you have to let it be free and happy. Iroh still has a young, fairytale view of the world. He still believes that Love and Good will always win. Unlike his mother, Zeeri, who from a young age understood that their will always be bad and evil lurking in the world, and that sacrifices will always be necessary. Their world views come from their very different upbringings.

Iroh has always had loved ones around him. Azula, his mother, Zuko, Szarchi, Tatou and a couple of others (like BUMI!). Zeeri, however, grew up in a time where people still wanted Zuko GONE. People were always trying to assassinate him and her, because she meant so much to him. She also grew up through the start of the New World. Iroh has always had the peace of the New World. Also, during the beginning of her life, Zeeri only had Zuko - and even then, very rarely. Uncle Iroh was running thinsg in Ba Sing Se, and Azula was still a little crazy.

On the Azula-Zeeri relationship, Zuko would take Zeeri to see Azula in the hospital, so she's always had that knowledge that their is sickness and problems.

Whew. That's a lot to go on. I'll leave it there.

Oh, I will be posting a kind of timeline in Legends of the Fall that explains when people died and when children were born etc etc.

House of Crows is: definitely different, something I have (personally) never seen before. Special thanks to author EmaniaHilel, who writes incredible, wonderful, magical stuff for (or, used to write incredible, wonderful, magical stuff for) the _Teen Titans._ Her Robin/Raven (BEST PAIRING EVER! Besides Zuko/Katara anyway) collections and short stories are marvellous and my INSPRIATION for this little journey.

Read & Review (Pretty PLEASE!)  
Read & Review (Pretty PLEASE!)  
Read & Review (Pretty PLEASE!)

- Eternity In Seconds


	6. Death, or Six For Gold

**House of Crows (Vignettes)  
****Title: House of Crows**  
**Author:** Eternity in Seconds  
**Rating:** M. Definitely M. May make the reader uncomfortable. PREPARE YOURSELF.  
**Pairings:** Well… Zutara, but not…_  
_**Summary: **Ending is beginning, beginning is ending. Freedom and Imprisonment walk hand in hand. Duty and honour are skewed. Life can be divided into seven parts: Birth, Innocence, Awakening, Trial, Love, Loss and Death…  
**Authors Note:** Vignettes This is… different. It will have seven chapters, books or parts, whatever you want to call it. It WILL BE CANON COMPLIANT. Meaning Katara and Aang shack up and have little babies… I'm ignoring the comics. Heavily influenced by _To Build A Home_ by the Cinematic Orchestra; _Little Lies, Dreams and Landslide_ by Fleetwood Mac.  
**Authors Note II: Gosh, it's been AHWHILE! **Sorry for the delay, but I was writing Zutara week and I have been swamped with school and life related stuff. But, look what I have for you? PART 6: DEATH! It doesn't feel right, but I promised that I would have this series done by **Legend of Korra: Spirits** premiere! So I have to get crackalacking.

**Disclaimer:** Bryke own EVERYTHING. I may own the story herein this FanFiction and I may own some of the Original Characters, but the original idea belongs to them.

* * *

**Part The Sixth: Death  
****Six For Gold…**

* * *

**Summer, 110ASC  
Tenth Year of Firelord Zuko's Reign**

Zuko decided that it was fitting that the Water Tribe's wore the colour of the dead for their weddings.

The Air Nomads didn't believe in marriage. They were monks. Zuko had read all the texts as part of his education growing up as a boy. He knew that the Air Nomads set aside a specific, Holy day where the Bhikṣuṇī ***** and the Bhikṣu ***** came together. Nine months later – in or around the autumn months – the children would be born. Yet the last airbender, Avatar Aang, was marrying his waterbending sweetheart, Master Katara of the Southern Water Tribe, in honor of her Tribe's beliefs. He had carved a necklace, he had asked her father. He had received permission.

Zuko couldn't help but envy and hate him.

"So," droned Irax, twirling his wine chalice around by its stem. His shoulders were relaxed, his whole body at ease. But Zuko saw the alertness, the cold calculation in his friend's eyes. "What's the bet that that Toph gets drunk out of her mind and says something she regrets to Sokka?"

Zuko arched his eyebrow while politely inclining his head to an Earth Kingdom Prince of some description. "Sokka?"

Irax shrugged. "Well, yeah. Doesn't she have a thing for the guy?"

"Nope."

"Since when?"

"Since she hit puberty and realized Sokka isn't all that special."

"Harsh."

"What? You try listening to a fifteen year old describe Sokka's wonderful, superior, handsome, incredible _–ness_ much more then is humanly possible and not be sick of the guy."

"You're kidding, right?"

"Exaggerating a little, maybe. But I never kid."

Irax snorted. "Don't I know it."

"You could show a little respect. I do have the right to have you arrested and exiled."

"You wouldn't."

"And why wouldn't I?"

"Because Issa would kill you." A thought. "And me, for whatever I did to piss you off."

At the mention of the last member of their trinity, Zuko looked up, quickly scanning the crowd for his better third (because, in all honesty, Irax was just as bad as Zuko, but with less of a tormented, traitorous past). Irax did the same, fidgeting with his tunic and armor. Zuko's lips twisted up in a smile. Irax had been in love with Issa since they had all met six months ago, at a benefit for the outer islands of the Fire Nation Archipelago.

Issa had been the bell of the ball. New money that had married into old money, Issa's family was the first of the new world. A balance, between the empire his forefathers had tried to build, and the world he was building with the Avatar.

Irax was another matter. When the Kyoshi warriors had failed to stop an assassin (for the tenth time), Zuko's council – Uncle, Jeong Jeong, Piando, Toph and Jee – had made the decision of hiring a body guard for Zuko. Even though Zuko was perfectly capable of handling himself, as evidence by the ten times he had defeated would-be assassins, they over-ruled him and decided that the extra protection would be worth it.

It was probably all for the better. Instead of a lackey, or a soldier, Zuko had received his first real friend since joining the Avatar's gang of merry misfits. In fact, Irax became closer to Zuko then any of the Avatar's gang had. They were similar; fiery tempered and cool-headed, stubborn and introspective. And Irax was more than happy to let Zuko's Fangirls have their way with him.

About two years into their friendship, when they had both been twenty-five, Zuko had sent Irax on a diplomatic assembly in his place. When Irax had returned, he was lost. Lady Issa had bewitched him, body and soul, in the same way that Zuko had been.

So it had been a fascinating turn of events when Issa came to the court.

"You should tell her, you know," Zuko said, breaking the pensive silence and snapping his friend back to reality.

"Tell who what?"

Zuko snorted. "Don't pretend to be an idiot."

Irax glared. "Why would I do that?"

"Because you love her."

"Who loves who?" Zuko spun around, Irax close behind him, to find Issa with both eyebrows raised expectantly, arms folded across her dress and tapping a slipper clad foot.

Her kimono was spun silk in warm colours – deep purples, reds and fuchsias - her hair had been swept up into an elaborate knot at the back of her head, highlighting her cheekbones and aristocratically soft features. Her lips were painted in a soft colour.

She really was the most beautiful woman in the Fire Nation. Irax seemed to agree and Zuko watched in amusement as he spluttered, trying to find his voice. Eventually, Zuko decided to take pity on his friend. "Where have you been anyway, Issa? Flirting with an unsuspecting southern Water Tribe boy?"

Issa flushed, her eyes flicking to Irax's.

_Why am I surrounded by blind and obtuse people? Honestly, she is as bad as Irax. Even Toph knows that she's in love with the poor guy._

"Visiting with the bride-to-be," Issa finally murmured, her keen amber eyes watching Zuko with a soft pity.

"Oh?"

_I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. _

_Tell me a story, Zuko... __One where the… good people… win, but don't… win._

Issa sighed. "Yes. Oh. She's practically collapsing from nerves. I have never seen a bride that frazzled in my life. She was practically hysterical, hyperventilating as the Kyoshi Warrior – Suki, I think – tried to calm her down." Issa gave Zuko a pointed look. "She's in a bad way. I don't think this is the normal jitters. Something is seriously bothering her."

Zuko was saved by Lord Shouga, a member of the Court, as he came up to thank Zuko for the aid he had supplied to the man's town after a practically nasty summer hurricane a few weeks ago.

He felt Irax watching him like a hawk, and Zuko felt his mask slip just a little under the scrutiny. Besides his Uncle and Toph, Irax and Issa were the only people that knew about his… _your what, Zuko? Your thoughts? Your feelings?_ … affection, for the Master Waterbender. And Issa only knew because Toph decided to be Toph on her last visit and tell Issa his darkest, most precious secret. It was just ironic that she was only in the Fire Nation to deliver the happy news about Katara and Aang's upcoming ceremony.

He shifted uncomfortably, very aware of their burning gazes as he greeted more people politely, like the Firelord he was. Finally, when all the dignitaries had done their thing, he refocused on his friends. Rubbing the back of his neck in a nervous tick he hadn't been able to break, Zuko finally gave in.

"I should go see the bride… wish her luck."

Weaving his way through the mass of people attending the wedding was no easy feat. Outside the hall, the Southern Water Tribe summer sun was beating down, the ice chilled to almost pleasant. It was really a beautiful day. The ceremony would take place at "sundown", so that Tui-Yue, the Moon Spirit, could grant Her blessing.

Even though the sun was constantly up in the South Pole for six months of the year, but it was the thought that counted.

People bowed deeply, others nervously flittered out of the way. Ten years into his reign, and Zuko was both loved and feared. In his country, the Ozai supporters were still raging a Civil War. He had been on the battlefield countless times and with each his reputation and name grew in size. There was even a rumour that the Firelord had actually killed a dragon. Dragon-on-the-Throne was a title that belonged to only two other Firelords. The only other Dragon alive in the world was General Iroh, the Dragon of the West.

"My lord," Tatou greeted as he slipped through the throng of people alongside Jee. Zuko nodded to the pair and mentally thanked them as they quietly and innocently pointed him in the right direction.

He was just about to knock when Toph appeared.

"Sparky, what brings you around to this neck of the woods?"

Zuko still couldn't get over Toph's change. She was no longer the little girl he had burned. She was twenty-two, a lady, and beautiful. Her milky eyes and high cheekbones gave her a sharp edge that did more for her than her soft features. She was still a short-squirt, but had managed to overtake Katara in that aspect of development. Her kimono was green, and poppies had been woven along the bottom – which stopped just above her knee – entwining up her side to twist along her spine and end just over her heart, where they blossomed.

The poppies represented the mother she had lost three months ago.

He felt himself flush as Toph gave him her Look. "Well…"

She scoffed. "Seriously. Just say it."

"I came to check on Katara."

Toph nodded. "Suki told me she was struggling. I came to find out why."

Zuko reached for the handle. "You can go in first." Toph's hand snapped out and locked around his wrist.

"You can't go in!"

Zuko gave her a completely stupefied look before remembering that she couldn't see. "Why?"

"It's bad luck for any man to see the bride before the wedding."

"Are you serious?"

"Deadly."

Zuko growled, running a hand through his hair and disturbing the crown and top knot. That was one tradition he had kept. Firelord's had always grown their hair out and pulled the top layer back in a knot to hold the crown. His hair fell to his shoulders.

Growling one last time. "Fine."

Toph smirked before pushing her way past him, her breasts smashing up against his chest plate. It sent a chill up Zuko's spine. And not a pleasant one. He saw Toph as his little sister. His daughter. In the eyes of his State, the metalbender actually was his daughter.

Toph left the door open and Zuko knew that she expected him to stay. He moved forward, not making a sound and pushed it open a little more. A mirror stood directly in fornt of his, reflecting Toph's lean back.

"Toph?" He heard Katara say, her voice sending good shivers down his spine.

"Yeah, it's me. Can I come in?"

"S-sure."

They stood in an awkward silence. He heard Katara take a shaky breath and he saw Toph cross her arms and tap her bare foot against the ground.

"Katara-"

"I know it's stupid! I don't have something borrowed! So what? I have the three other things! It's stupid to try and make a thousand paper cranes in ten minutes to make up for it right?"

Zuko blinked. "Excuse me?" He heard Toph ask. When Katara didn't reply, Toph spoke again. "What are you worried about? Start at the beginning."

"I'm not worried about anything."

Zuko wasn't an earthbender who could sense vibrations, but even he could tell the obvious lie. It was no surprise when Toph snorted in frustration. "Lying won't get you anywhere, Sugar Queen. Especially with me."

Katara said nothing more. Zuko waited, baited breath, when suddenly Katara gasped as a dull thudding noise echoed through the room. "One for the lady," Zuko used the mirror and watched the reflection as Toph tossed Katara a blood red apple. "And one for me."

Toph bites into the apple and plopped down on to the mat that covered the ground. "Ah, you don't have to tell me," Toph shrugged, crossing her legs and resting her chin on a fist and biting into the apple again. They ate in silence.

Zuko finally heard the sound of Katara taking a bite out of the apple Toph tossed her. He imagined the juices dripping down her chin. Imagined her laughter as she wiped them away with the back of her hand as she stretched out like a leopard-dog in the Fire Nation summer. He imagined them in the Turtle Duck Garden, watching the animals lazily float in the water as the cherry-blossoms bloom around them.

The memory is bittersweet.

He can taste the apples on his tongue again and smell her perfume like it is happening right then. Just like he can sometimes taste the moonpeaches and feel the moon against his skin when he remembers the time he and Katara opened their hearts in the moonpeach tree on Ember Island so many years ago it seems like an eternity. Back when he thought he would die saving his Nation. Back when loving her was easy.

He consumes these memories like a man after three days without water. Greedily. Without mercy or regret.

He lives for them, lives for the chance to make more of them. Katara is his greatest sin.

"How do you know when someone is the One for you?"

Zuko feels his heart stop. He sees Toph's reflection tense, head cocked to the side. "Shouldn't I be asking you that, Sugar Queen."

"Please." Katara sounds so broken it hurts him.

"I guess you just… know."

"Toph…"

"I'm serious. You just know. When you see the future, you see him there. When you think of happiness, you think of his smile and laugh. When you long for home you long for his hug. His embrace. When you think of despair, it's a thought of a world without him." Toph paused. "You don't even need to think about it. You just know. It's instinct. It's inbuilt. It's… natural."

"Have you felt it, Toph?" Katara sounded every bit like the nervous, frightened and lost child.

"This isn't about me," Toph's voice is an octave higher. She shook her head and tried again. "What is going on, Katara."

_Katara._

"Just nerves. It's all a lot, you know?"

"Not really. You'll have to explain. I've never been engaged before."

Zuko isn't alone in hearing the bitterness in Toph's voice. "You will find someone, Toph. I promise."

"This isn't about me."

"It helps keep me sane, so can it be about you a little bit longer?"

"I guess…"

He still can't see Katara.

"Sugar Queen, everything will be all right, so you really need to stop pacing. You're making me dizzy."

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

"Why?"

"Because I'm being dramatic over nothing. So what if I don't have something borrowed? It doesn't mean the world is going to end. Everything will be fine. I have something blue and I have something new. My mother's necklace is something old, so that's all covered. Everything will be fine. I'm just getting caught up in all the superstition."

"I think you're just trying to focus on that so you don't think about what's really bothering you."

"Huh?"

"Do you want to marry Twinkle Toes or don't you?"

"Excuse me?"

He heard Toph's angry huffed breath and watched her stand up in the glass of the mirror. She cracked her back and rotated her neck before reaching into a pouch at her hip. Slowly, she brought out what looked like the Firelady's circlet.

"Here," Toph sighed, tossing the head piece to Katara. He sees a lurch of blue and finally Katara appears.

She is breathtaking. Her dress is a silvery-white, the Southern Water Tribe's traditional colour. It is simple. Nothing flamboyant or over the top, like he has seen in the countless Court and society weddings he has had to attend. The dress had a fitted bodice ending just above Katara's waist, with a gathered skirt which was long and loose fitting, skimming her body. The sleeves started off her shoulder and flared out around her elbow, so that the end of the sleeve itself ended at her mid-thigh. A hood was over her head, another water tribe custom. A blue piece of silk was tied around her waist.

"What is this?" Katara asked, looking at Toph and back to the circlet in interested confusion.

Toph shrugged her shoulders, crossing her arms and blowing a stray piece of hair out of her milky eyes. "A gift from Sokka."

Katara froze. "He kept it…"

"What?"

"Once, before you became a part of the group. Before we even knew you, actually, Sokka and I became really sick. Sokka acted like he was on cactus juice and I was trying to get Momo to fetch water. He kept bringing back random objects. He found this circlet…"

"Huh," Toph finally remarked, snorting. "I thought it was the Fire Wreath."

To Zuko, it seemed that he and Katara froze simultaneously at the exact same moment. His heart started beating fast, just the thought of Katara in vicinity of the Fire Wreath sending pleasant, addictive shivers and feelings around his body. He knew that Toph had said that deliberately, just to make him like this.

"Why would you think that Toph?" Katara asked quietly, her words drawn out and measured extremely carefully. He wondered why. He longed to know why, just like how he longed to know her, in her every stage and image.

"Why do you think I would think that, Sugar Queen?"

"I don't know, Toph. I'm not you."

"Surely you know me well enough to take a stab at it?"

"Toph, please, that's enough."

"Enough of what?"

"You know, Toph." Her voice was becoming angry. Her whole body seemed to vibrate.

"No. I don't know." Toph was pissed.

"Toph…" A warning.

"_Katara_…" A threat.

"Toph… don't do this. Please Toph. Don't make it hurt any more than it already does. I can't… I won't be able to…"

Zuko left.

He couldn't watch her cry.

**xXx**

Zuko had decided, such a long time ago that he couldn't even remember when, that being with Katara was like being touched from the inside out. An unexpected blaze of sunshine on an otherwise bleak winter day. Wrapping fingers around a mug of hot chocolate after walking home in that frigid lake-effect wind. A fire crackling softly beneath outstretched hands. _The perfect combination of cupcake and icing, the kind where you can't quite identify all the secret ingredients, but you feel them melting together on your tongue, and you know that for as long you live, this will be the best thing you've ever tasted_.

Sometimes, Zuko decided, life and love were so consuming that your heart wanted to explode just because the sun came up and you got to feel it on your face for one more day. ...Sometimes you get the bitter end instead.

Aang stood up front, by the alter of Tui-Yue, nervously tugging on his Monk robes a Sokka stood behind him as the best man, looking just as frazzled. Toph sat to Zuko's immediate right, Irax to his left, and Issa was beside Irax. His Uncle sat beside Toph. It was a balm, having those four people around him. It lessened, soothed his chapped heart as it beat a melancholy tune in his chest.

He was lost in his own world. It was like he had become detached from his body, was observing without really seeing. Feeling, but not. Everything was distant. The warmth of Toph's tiny hand in his own was faint, like he was feeling it through a glove. The noise of the guests was a buzz.

When Suki made her appearance, the crowd stood. Katara would follow behind her. Like Toph had explained, the men in the room were not allowed to see Katara unless they were a direct-blood relative. The men, and Zuko, had to look straight forward, focus on the groom. The women would watch as Katara walked down the aisle. Her hood would protect her face from the eyes of the men she passed.

So, Zuko watched Aang's face.

And it broke his heart, because the Avatar looked like the happiest man on Earth. His grin was one of incredulousness. Ecstasy.

The ceremony began.

Toph's hand clenched around his, her body pressed against his in comfort.

Aang's face was complete adoration. Worship. Benevolence.

The Priestess of the Moon finished, and Aang gently raised his hands to the edge of Katara's hood. Zuko held his breath in anticipation. The mirror had blurred Katara's face when he had watched her with Toph, and his whole body was on fire.

She was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen because...

**xXx**

In life, as in art, some endings are bittersweet. Especially when it comes to love. Sometimes fate throws two lovers together only to rip them apart. Sometimes the hero finally makes the right choice but the timing is all wrong. And, as they say, timing is everything. And hope is the only force keeping it from becoming a tragedy.

Zuko had never been the hero.

Aang was the hero. The Avatar.

Zuko knew, from the stories Toph and Sokka told, that Aang had made the right choice at the wrong time. He knew that on Ember Island, just before he had vanished, abandoned them for the fucking Lionturtle, that Aang had kissed Katara and she had turned him down.

But still, Aang was the hero.

**xXx**

… true love made her and everything beautiful.

**xXx**

Zuko decided that it was fitting that the Water Tribe's wore the colour of the dead for their weddings. Because in the Fire Nation, the colour of weddings was Gold. Fire and water would always be opposites. They would always balance each other out. They would always be fire and water. There was no real common ground.

But, that wasn't why Zuko decided that white was a fitting colour for Water Tribe weddings.

"Zuko!" His heart skipped a beat as he saw Katara – circlet in her hair, eyes alight, hood gone, dressed all in white like some Spirit – on Aang's arm as they came towards him.

"Just remember to smile," Irax murmured around his own fake smile as he acknowledged important generals and political leaders.

"Excuse me?"

"Even when you feel like choking someone, keep smiling. The minute you show them you're pissed, you lose and the game is up." Irax pauses, frowning. "I can't associate with losers."

Zuko gives his best friend a look dripping with venom. "That's one of the Laws of Politics."

"That's the Law of Jealousy and Despair."

"Zuko!" Zuko and Irax snap apart and watch as Katara and Aang bounce up to them. Katara is smiling, so brightly that Zuko thinks that Agni would be jealous if he saw.

"Avatar Aang," Irax says in greeting as he bows. Zuko watches in amusement, absently wondering when his friend stopped showing him the same respect.

"Commander Irax." Before Aang can continue with the stimulating conversation, King Kuei's mother, the Dowager, commands all of his attention with her buxom frame.

Zuko chuckles darkly and gives Katara a hooded look underneath his bangs. She is still smiling. She catches him and tilts her head to one side, like Momo when he is baffled. "Where is the Commander?"

Zuko isn't even surprised that Irax has bailed on him.

"Probably off stalking Issa." Katara gives him a shocked look and he resists the urge to knock his head against his palm. His mouth has switched off its filter. "He is like a puppy."

"That's cute."

"It's annoying."

"When did you become so cynical, Firelord?"

_When you broke my heart, Lady Avatar. _

"I heard that you were crying before the wedding."

Katara looks away, shame filtering across her face. Zuko hates himself for speaking, for being insensitive, for hurting her. He wonders why he always says the wrong thing around her, why he can't say the right thing. Why he couldn't be brave enough to tell her the truth when he had the chance.

"Jitters."

"Understandable. Not that I could understand. I personally have never been married. Came close once. Didn't happen though. Probably for the best. Not that marriage is a bad thing just that it wouldn't have worked out for me. But that doesn't mean I wouldn't get married. I kind of have to, being Firelord and all. I would marry anyway, even if I wasn't Firelord, it would just be with the right person. Who I haven't found."

_Zuko, shut up_.

Katara is watching him, her ocean eyes fathomless. "Are you alright?"

"Guess I'm just a little tired."

"Of course. You've been fighting against the insurgents, haven't you?"

"It's been good to be in an environment dedicated and consumed by happiness and peace… I don't know the last time I was in a room without needing to evaluate all possible threats."

Katara smiles and his heart flops over in giddy emotion. "I'm glad I could help."

A pause. They both look at the crowd, the assembly of joy and good-feeling. The family and friends. The peace, the world they fought so hard to achieve.

"Are you happy now, Katara?" His voice is so low, so quiet that he doesn't think she hears. It takes a long time for her to respond, but when she does, she is beautiful and ethereal.

"Yes, Zuko. I'm the happiest I could be."

Zuko nods. He can't do this anymore. Can't pretend to be fine around her. Can't be impassive or objective. Everything with Katara has always been personal. And he feels the cracks in his heart spreading with each passing moment. He has always been a masochist. But her particular brand of torture is too much for him to handle now. If he stays with her, he will break.

He says, "Then I'll leave you to your husband."

What he wants to say is _I love you so much I'm going to leave you._

His mother and Uncle always taught him to let what he loves go free. Let it be happy. If it loves in return, it will return. If it doesn't, the knowledge of its happiness would be enough.

It makes sense now.

Even though his heart dies, it makes sense. Because she is wearing white for its funeral. Because she is happy.

* * *

******Authors Note: **

Look whose back from the unknown!

I apologise for the long break between updates. With Zutara weekm school, real life and Zutara week House of Crows got pushed to the back, which has reakky screwed me over because I gave myself a deadline - HOUSE of CROWS finished by LEGEND OF KORRA/BOOK 2/SPIRITS PREMIERE. Anyway, its here, I'm back and I had a very successful Zutara week. Yay me! On the topic of Zutara week, I would love for everyone to go check out my stories. Some are very original in regards to what exists on FanFiction, and I would live your feedback. I even put a humour piece up! HUMOUR...

So on the topic of this chapter...

**Note1:** I am not entirely happy with how this turned out. I felt that it drabbled on and wasn't very cohesive, but in my rush to met this deadline I'm kinda just writing, briefly editing and slapping it up. Don't get me wrong, I like this chapter. But compared to some of my others, I just don't like the feel of it... YMMV on this, and I would love to hear your constructive thoughts!  
**Note2: **We see the return of IRAX and ISSA! Yay for OC's. I really like the trinity I created with these three characters, and from your feedback you also appreciated the Irax/Issa/Zuko not-a-love triangle I had way back when Zeeri was born. So, what do you think? Irax is a lot like Jet/Zuko, and I wrote him picturing a hybrid between the two characters. He doesn't see Zuko as the Firelord, but just as another guy trying really hard to do his job properly. He respects Zuko for that, but that doesn't mean he worships the ground the guy stands on. Issa is just a sweet character.  
**Note3:** The WEDDING. Ahhh, the wedding. It was never going to be an easy day for Zuko, no matter who Katara was marrying. I have taken a huge stab at the canon, in regards to **because Aang is the hero, he gets the girl**. I don't appreciate it. Don't get me wrong, I have respect for Kataang. But it just seemed like the writers were all "**Aang is the hero. He needs the girl! Screw the fact that Zuko was designed to be Katara's love interest. She is the girl**!" Eternity was not Amused. Anyway, I have tried to infuse quite a few traditions while making up my own. I didn't want the traditional western wedding (rings and all that jazz), but I kept certain aspects of it. I've kind of just created my own though. And I like mine. I also loved writing the Toph/Katara scene. Yes, Katara was having seconds thoughts and wedding!angst and its cause was ZUKO.

I mean, what?

**Note4:** Zuko's Zukoness. Distraught, masochistic. Darn it, I love the Guy.  
**Note5: ** * I actually did research research! Bhikṣuṇī and the Bhikṣu are actual terms for Buddhist culture. A Bhikṣuṇī is a female monk. A Bhikṣu is a male monk. I have elaborated on airbender culture i.e. made it up and beat the crap out of it to make it work for me. Like the shaking up of monks at specific Holy Days. So that they can make more lovely airbending monk babies! Marriage is a no-no, but Aang - a MONK - still married Katara. This, to me, makes little to no sense. He spouts long, waxing speeches about reviving the airbenders (which needs SEX and lots of it, with a VARIETY of BUBBLY, BUXOM FEMALES) and re-establishing the culture, then goes and enters a monogamy-marriage. A harem, as much as I hate the idea, is much more logical and smart. But, oh well. That may just be me.  
**Note6: **The Fire Wreath is just a snazzy way of saying the Firelady's Crown. Picture a Laurel Wreath. I pictured it looking like a cross between **_This:_** http / orderofsplendor. blogspot. com. au/ 2012/ 05/ tiara- thursday- mathildes -laurel- wreath. html (TAKE OUT ALL TEH UNNECCSARY SPACES!) and **This** www. alhambraantiques webphotos / 13340 .jpg

I need to go to study now... Love you then leave you!

House of Crows is: definitely different, something I have (personally) never seen before. Special thanks to author EmaniaHilel, who writes incredible, wonderful, magical stuff for (or, used to write incredible, wonderful, magical stuff for) the _Teen Titans._ Her Robin/Raven (BEST PAIRING EVER! Besides Zuko/Katara anyway) collections and short stories are marvellous and my INSPRIATION for this little journey.

Read & Review (Pretty PLEASE!)  
Read & Review (Pretty PLEASE!)  
Read & Review (Pretty PLEASE!)

- Eternity In Seconds


	7. Love, or Seven For A Secret

**House of Crows (Vignettes)**

**Title: House of Crows**  
**Author:** Eternity in Seconds  
**Rating:** T.  
**Pairings:** Well… Zutara, but not…_  
_**Summary: **Ending is beginning, beginning is ending. Freedom and Imprisonment walk hand in hand. Duty and honour are skewed. Life can be divided into seven parts: Birth, Innocence, Awakening, Trial, Love, Loss and Death…  
**Authors Note:** Vignettes This is… different. It will have seven chapters, books or parts, whatever you want to call it. It WILL BE CANON COMPLIANT. Meaning Katara and Aang shack up and have little babies… I'm ignoring the comics. Heavily influenced by _To Build A Home_ by the Cinematic Orchestra; _Little Lies, Dreams and Landslide_ by Fleetwood Mac  
**Authors Note II: **This is it guys. The End. Of House, that is. Ruins, the not-a-sequel, will be published within the weekend over in Legend of Korra. Yes. The non-sequel will be all about Korra working through her own Secret and dealing with the discovery of Master Katara's Secret. More down bottom.

What this A/N II is all about is the THANK YOU! **_Thank you_** to all those who reviewed. Your words meant the world and really did keep me going, fuelling the fire. I would love to see your thoughts etc etc on this chapter and the story as a whole. _**Thank you**_ to all those who favourited and followed House of Crows. I will be adding one more chappie after this, with a TIMELINE of events, little bits and pieces and some background... Plus, I'm sending this out to the world - Any questions, drop them in a review and I will answer them! Cool?!

Anyway, this is a little late because its so LONG! It just grew and grew and grew! Hope you enjoy the finale to the House of Crows before it shatters...  
**Disclaimer:** Bryke own EVERYTHING. I may own the story herein this FanFiction and I may own some of the Original Characters, but the original idea belongs to them.

* * *

**Part The Seventh: Love  
****Seven For A Secret, Never To Be Told…**

* * *

**Summer, 171ASC  
Six Months after the Equalist Revolution  
Fourth Year Of Firelord Zeeri's Reign**

His grandson stood behind the lectern, back straight, uniform gleaming. Hair just this side of disarrayed. The crowd had gathered in the beautiful, traditional City Hall, and Zuko watched in awe as they gave his grandson, complete and undivided attention. Respect. General Iroh II, he knew, was about to be promoted to Commander of the United Forces when the current Commander, Bumi, son of the Avatar, stepped down.

The United Forces was the United Republics' first line of defense. It served as the nation's main military, consisting of soldiers and benders from the Fire Nation, Water Tribe, and Earth Kingdom. Everyone was equal. There was no discrimination, against race or gender. It was one of Zuko's greatest achievements.

The higher ups said it was only natural that the grandson of the greatest Firelord in five hundred year's would take control of the entirety of the United Forces very soon. Zuko was proud of his grandson, proud beyond compare, but he worried. Iroh, like he himself, hadn't really had a chance to be wild. As soon as his grandson had turned fourteen, he entered in the United Forces Academy, which usually only accepted students above the age of sixteen. By seventeen, he had started his climb through the ranks.

But seeing his grandson addressing all these, commanding the attention of every single one, he had never felt so sure that Iroh would be fine.

He, though, he was not fine.

His heart ached. His head hurt. He felt the presence of his lost friends in every corner, aspect, part and stone of this hall. Toph. Sokka. Aang. Suki. They had all made this place themselves, they had all built it up and watered it and maintained it. They had raised it to be what it was today.

He missed them

"This is the anniversary of a great day in our joined history," Iroh said in a clear and concise manner. "This is the day that the people became one. This is the day that war ended. This is the day when life began again, anew, for every person in this world of ours, no matter their rank or position, their money or fortune, their home or valley. This is the day Peace won. This is a day that we will remember in our hearts and minds forever."

The crowd came alive after its nostalgia, shouting and cheering. Zuko knew that a screen had been placed outside, allowing the square to fill with thousands of locals and travellers. He heard their roar of agreement through the stone walls, felt the vibrations as they stomped and jumped in celebration.

His grandson sipped from his glass of water and said nothing more.

The crowd inside was a little more reserved. The clapped politely as Iroh stepped down and immediately started conversing amongst themselves. A long table had been made by the earthbenders across one side of the marvellous hall, adorned with food from every culture and town across the known world. Water Tribe cuisine, Fire Nation deserts. It was feast for the eyes.

Zuko marvelled, not at the food itself, but of the tiny little flags sitting behind each dish, side by side. Water. Earth. Water. Earth. Earth. Fire. The occasional air nomad dish. Yet nothing was out of place.

"Dragon Ambassador Zuko." He turned around, his old body still agile, and didn't even bother to hide the smile as Lin Bei Fong bowed her head.

"Commissioner Bei Fong, a pleasure to see you again." Her cue received, Lin fluidly returned to her normal height, back military straight, green eyes assessing the room before them. Her uniform gleamed dangerously in the light, making her threatening and aristocratic at all at once.

"It's been too long, Lin."

Lin turned around, a grin as mischievous as her mothers had been settled over her lips. "Not really. Maybe you're just losing your mind in your old age, Dragon."

Lin had had a fondness for nicknames as a child just like her mother. Dragon had always been his.

"Careful Lin. I can still take you in a fight."

"I don't believe you, sir."

He cocked an eyebrow, a smile threatening to pull at his lips. "Name a time and place, child."

"I can't fight an old man. Where is the honour in that?"

They stood in contemplating silence; Zuko cloaked half in the shadow as he leant against a pillar. Lin was like the niece he had never had. She was a cousin, friend and confidant to Zeeri – or had been, once upon a time – and a member of his small family.

When he actually put thought to it, Zuko realised that Zeeri and Iroh were the only other two who fell into that very selective category.

Toph, Azula, Uncle, Irax, Issa and his mother had once been a part. But no longer. No one else

_Don't keep pretending! Be honest, don't lie! I…_

He banished the thought before it could grow and shook his head. Up on the stage, Master Tenzin ascended to the lectern. He felt Lin stiffen, ever-so-slightly, and felt pity drip into his stomach.

"How have you been, Lin?"

"Fine. After the Avatar gave me back my bending, of course."

Zuko appraised her, calculating and analysing. She shifted and he took his chance. "That's not what I meant, champ, and you know it. So how about you stop lying to your Spirit-father."

Lin sighed, refusing to speak.

He tried again. "It's their thirteenth anniversary, isn't it?" He asked, nodding with his head towards the stage where a woman and a small baby talked quietly with Master Tenzin. He saw Lin's jaw clench out of the corner of his eye. "And they just had another child. Is that one an airbender as well? Or just a non-bender, like Commander Bumi? Everyone was shocked when the Avatar's first son was a non-bender. The Avatar especially. He was worried that the airbenders would literally die with him. Luckily…"

"Why don't you call the Avatar by his name?"

"Don't change the subject, Lin Bei Fong. It's rather rude."

Lin growled quietly. "Why do you want to know?"

"Because Toph would if she was here."

"We'll, my mother isn't and my father…"

"That's why I'm asking."

Her puff deflated. "It hasn't been easy. Especially when that pesky, wild Avatar came to Republic City." He didn't bother to hide his smirk. "She was asking too many questions. Annoying questions. That were none of her business."

"But you like her?"

Lin blinked, caught off guard. "What?"

"I should meet her. If she has your respect then that means something."

Before Lin could respond, Master Tenzin started his speech. "Today is not only a celebration, but a time of remembrance. Seventeen years ago, the world lost its greatest hero."

_Zuko had never been the hero. _

_Aang was the hero. The Avatar._

"Avatar Aang – my father, my teacher – died knowing that he had achieved his dream: Peace in our realm. He had birthed this place, this era of acceptance and equality, and determined our fates. He left the world in our hands. And he was reborn. Nine months after his death, his soul returned to us in the form of a little water tribe girl. She was opposite and complement – she was him and herself. Today, we celebrate the birth of our new saviour, Avatar Korra of the Southern Water Tribe."

Clapping. Zuko strained, trying to see over the crowd, trying to catch a glimpse of the girl-avatar. He found her to the left of Master Tenzin's lectern, surrounded by the airbenders children, the Sato girl who owned Future Industries, and two other boys who looked like family.

He wondered why Lin was not with them.

As if reading his thoughts, Lin snorted. "The younger brats bug me."

A few diplomats gave him dirty looks when he chuckled quietly, which quickly turned to red-faced bows and mumbled apologises. Eighty-six and still commanding fear.

"It is with great pleasure that I present to you your Avatar."

The cheering was thunderous. It seemed like the halls shook as the people inside and out went wild for the girl. She was strong, dressed in the garb of her nation. A formal dress. Boots. Her hair even had the traditional loopies – without the loops. So maybe it wasn't so traditional. Zuko couldn't decide.

She made a quick speech, thanking the people for their continued support and apologising for her absence. She had been training, honing and improving her airbending. Lin informed him that the girl had struggled with air, but excelled at manipulating fire. Zuko admitted surprise, by knew that it made sense.

Personality determined the majority of an Avatar's talents. Aang hadn't been able to firebend because it wasn't in his nature to be passionate and temperamental. Water had been easiest, because it was all soothing motions. A perfect companion to his beliefs as an Air Nomad.

Lin suddenly straightened and he came back from his thoughts quickly, sliding into his persona effortlessly. "I have to attend to some business. One of the Triad's is trying to be funny."

Zuko nodded. "Understood."

Lin smiled gently. "Is it okay if I try and see you before you leave?"

"When was it ever not?"

She slipped into the crowd. And Zuko was alone.

Instead of starting riveting political conversation with the other ambassadors, diplomats and rich-snakes, Zuko skirted along the edge of the rom and observed. He watched Chief Unulaq of the North and South, and his children, Desna and Princess Eska. He watched as the Chief watched the Avatar, and it suddenly occurred to Zuko that he was her uncle.

He watched Commander Bumi discuss battle tactics with Iroh and a few other ranking officers of the United Forces, the Commander animated and exhilarated in his actions and movements. He was every bit the child in a man's body, just like his father had been later in life. Maybe it was an airbender thing?

But then again, as he watched Master Tenzin and his beautiful family, that wasn't true. Master Tenzin was studious, serious and droll. His eldest daughter looked like she would rather be in a library. But the two younger siblings fit perfectly into his theory, making balls of air and then throwing them at each other to see whose wold last the longest.

He never understood Lin's feelings for the air bender.

His golden gaze slid over the crowd, trying to find the Avatar, when someone interrupted him. "Good evening, Dragon Ambassador."

His heart lurched into his throat. His stomach turned in on itself and started knotting. Pulse flashing, as fast as lightning, and just as violent. "Well met, Master Kya."

_She's wearing the necklace…_

She was there. Right there. Within touching distance. Blue robes traditional. Hair loopies swinging. Her silver hair gleamed in the light and he felt his age in every pore of his body.

Kya, daughter of the greatest waterbender in history, bowed her head. "I'm sorry, Ambassador, but I haven't properly thanked or spoken to you since my father's funeral."

Father.

His heart sped up. _Tha-rump Tha-rump Tha-rump Tha-rump Tha-rump Tha-rump Tha-rump Tha-rump Tha-rump Tha-rump Tha-rump Tha-rump Tha-rump Tha-rump Tha-rump._

"Don't apologise for something like that, Master Kya. What you went through isn't easy. I wish it upon no one, burying a loved one. You are in no wrong."

He saw a faint flush in her cheeks. "Actually, I wanted to thank you for the aid you sent the South after the tsunami."

He had never been gladder for a change of subject. He shrugged. "The Fire Nation knows better than anyone else the effect a tsunami can have."

"But still, you didn't need to."

"I wanted to, Master Kya. And I usually do what I want. Just ask any of the diplomats, politicians, generals or Kings in this room. I'm a stubborn bastard." He went still, realising what he had just said. "I apologise for my language. It was unnecessary."

She laughed the sound like trickling water and he was lost in the sound, so familiar. A taste of home. "Don't apologise! Seriously, I'm glad for the respite. Politicians, diplomats, generals and Kings are all so stuffy and uptight. I'm all about honesty. And I don't care much for code of conduct, if you understand my meaning."

Her whole demeanour had changed. She was just like her mother.

"I understand your meaning."

Kya paused, looking anxious for a moment. He decided to ease the tension. "Have you ever probended?"

"Absolutely." She paused, titling her head to one side, considering him. "Made the local team growing up around here. Kicked serious but. It was probably nothing compare dto the way you, my mother and Master Toph used to be, though." Her face turned serious and blue eyes studied him. "You have so many scars. I've only seen them today, but I'm going to miss them."

_What?_

"That's a very odd thing to say to someone you hardly know."

He was used to comments about scars. But he still felt the urge to touch his face.

People had started to notice the pair of them in the dark corner, close together and seemingly engrossed in one another. Stupid people got the wrong idea. Whispers started. Zuko felt his temper tick-tock tick-tock and knew that it was only a matter of time before he bent someone into an appetiser.

Kya suddenly started swaying in front of him, and his anger turned to panic. Grabbing her upper arms, he led the waterbender through a side door and weaved through the small groups of chit-chatters until they reached the balcony. He sat her down on a bench and offered to bring her water.

Kya snorted, steady again. "Why would I need water?"

Zuko blinked. "Because you feel sick…"

"Says who?"

He caught on and groaned, rubbing at his eyes. The waterbending master only smirked in amusement. _So familiar…_ She didn't pester him, though. Silently, she scooted over, patting the bench beside her. Warily, he eyed the seat. _I have done this before…_ Unfazed, she titled her head back and proceeded to stare up at the twilight sky, admiring the young stars as they peeked out, kicking her feet like a five year old. _So many years…_

"I am so glad we walked. We can use that as an excuse to leave early and avoid the bloodsuckers."

"Well I didn't really have a choice in the matter," Zuko remarked. "But I would have to agree."

"If you would stop being mean to everyone, you might actually have some fun, you know."

"Me? Mean? I haven't even spoken to someone properly. How on earth can I be mean to someone I haven't even spoken too?"

She shrugged.

He wrinkled up his nose. "I doubt it, anyway. Fun? As you just wonderfully and creatively put it, they're a bunch of bloodsuckers. They all want something. They are never willing to give something."

"Why would you want to be part of any of that, then?" She asked, gesturing back to the double doors they had come through with her chin. "You would never get any peace. And you did your figurative time. You rebuilt your Nation, from scratch practically, and then spent years fighting for it. Have you ever actually had a place or moment or person just to yourself?"

_Why is she asking all these questions? _

"You shouldn't worry about me so much, Master Kya. Plans are very likely to change between now and whenever. I may retire. I may die. I may wake up one morning and decided to live for me. I don't know though, and until I do, I am what I am."

"That's sad."

"That's my life."

She paused again, watching him. "It's so strange. I know that I have never met you, but it feels like I know you. I want to know more about you. You're some kind of enigma. A mystery. A puzzle box. My father always spoke about you so highly. My mother said you were a great man. The most perfectly flawed person she had ever met." Kya closes her eyes and allows the moon to soak into her skin. "I was never close to my father. Not like my brothers. But, when he talked about you, I felt like I knew you. I felt close to him. Connected. I felt like I should be proud…"

"Kya."

Everything froze. Time ceased to move. His heart was racing, beating so fast and loud he was sure she would hear it from where she stood behind him. He wanted to turn around; he wanted to sink to his knees. He wanted to see her. But he couldn't do it. It hurt to breathe. It hurt to live. He should hate her, yet he knew that if she left, he wouldn't – couldn't continue.

But still, he turned around.

"Hello Zuko."

**xXx**

**Spring, 124ASC  
Twenty-Fourth Year of Firelord Zuko's Reign**

Republic City was beautiful in the springtime.

"Daddy, look!" Zeeri shouted from her place on top of his shoulders, a hand wrapped around his forehead as his shaggy hair flopped across his face. "It's you!"

He laughed looking up at the statue as fire burned in its palm. A lot has changed since he was last here. There are more benders of every Nation – Fire, Earth, Water. Non-benders from every walk of life mingle with them. The rich chat amicably with the merchants and the poorer. It is utopia. Paradise.

He can't believe he helped create it.

"Come on, Zeeri."

"I want to stay and buy something from that Water Tribe merchant," she whines, gracefully tumbling off his shoulders and landing in a crouch. She stands, hands on hips, golden eyes pleading. He chuckles.

She looks so much like him.

"Fine."

She squeals and dashes off.

Left alone, Zuko remembers that the last time he was here in the City was four and a half years ago, with his Uncle. At the thought of his Uncle, his chest aches and heart constricts. He still can't believe that his Uncle has been dead for four years. Zeeri was seven.

But she still remembers him.

"Hurry up, dad!" Zuko blinks dazedly and sees a smiling Zeeri, taping her foot patiently. He grins and follows her to the jewellery vendor.

"Help me pick something out for Kya."

Zeeri sees the little water bender every time she goes on a min-vacation with her Aunt Zuzie. Zuko loved that his daughter insisted on calling Azula by the childhood nickname. Azula groaned and bitched, but he knew that she loved it.

"Shouldn't you have brought your Aunt? She probably would be more of a help. With shopping."

Zeeri shrugs. "Then Sokka would have come too."

Zuko smirks. "And that's bad, why?"

Zeeri rolls her eyes. "Have you heard his jokes?"

Zuko laughs and ruffles his daughter's hair affectionately. Zeeri give shim a look and he raises his palms up in submission and starts looking half-heartedly. Zeeri starts an easy conversation with the vendor, who asks why her father wears a hood, and Zuko blocks the conversation out as Zeeri goes off on a breezy answer about shyness.

People still shrink away from his scar. Zeeri, Toph, Lin, Tatou, Szarchi, Piando, Jee – they are the only ones who don't. He has come accustomed to the shame. It's only a passing thought.

His eyes nearly missed it. He reached out and unhooked the necklace from the display, holding it in the palm of his hand, and knew that it is the one. Smiling victoriously as he holds up a traditional Southern Water Tribe necklace, Zuko gives Zeeri a look.

Her eyes went wide. "Perfect."

**xXx**

When they reached Air Temple Island, Zuko almost didn't recognise the place. It had grown from the small pebble that it had been birthed as. There was now an actual Temple – complete with small, tiny little sky-bison drifting around the spires like lazy flies. The ferry chugged along happily, and Zeeri was contentedly leaning against Zuko's side as she read one of the History books from his library.

The History of the Avatar and the Firelord. Sozin's story. Roku's story.

Zeeri still couldn't get over the fact that she was descendent of an Avatar. His own mother, Ursa, in the brief time he had spent with her, had told him his history. Explained her story.

It was a cherished memory.

"Now arriving at Air Temple Island."

Sokka stood on the dock, waving enthusiastically even though he was a grown and respected man.

Excitement. "It's Councillor Sokka!" Zeeri gave a small wave, still unsure around the Water Tribe man, even though he spent quite a lot of time in the Fire Nation whenever he had a break.

"Zuko! Princess Zeeri!"

"Why is she Princess and I'm just Zuko?" Zuko asked as he climbed off the ferry. Zeeri, as athletic and talented as her Aunt had been, somersaulted off. Ty Lee's lesson doing some good after all.

"Because you tried to kill me once," Sokka pointed out, crossing his arms over his chest and smiling broadly. "Plus…"

Zuko raised a hand. "What have I told you? I. Don't. Need. To. Know."

"Know what?"

Both men looked at Zeeri and Zuko resisted the impulse to slug Sokka. "Nothing, sweetie. Go on ahead."

She shrugged and started on her way up. Sokka watched after her, a wistful look on his face, and Zuko felt a deep sorrow for his friend.

"Azula apologises. But she…"

Sokka cut him off. "Don't worry. I know she still finds it uncomfortable to be around… Team Avatar. I mean, we are the reason she was locked up, right?"

That pang panged again. "Sokka…"

"I've made peace with it Zuko. She has as well."

Zuko didn't say anymore and neither did Sokka. He knew that Sokka, a fellow warrior, understood the silence that had descended around them. It was filled with words and aid. It was filled with the things that had no need to be said.

They arrived at the Temple and Zuko smiled. "Reminds me of the Western Air Temple… if it were the right way up, anyway."

Zeeri waited by the door. "Come on, Dad. You haven't met Kya and it's her birthday. Plus, you need to see Bumi and little baby Tenzin."

"Can't wait to see the teen years," Sokka mumbled to him, devilish grin on his face. Zeeri heard, bracing both hands on her hip and glared.

Sokka visibly gulped. "Damn… She's as scary as Azula…"

Zeeri's temper changed and she was bright and bubbly again. "Good! Aunt Zuzie is a great lady. I'm glad I'm like her."

Sokka's eye practically bugged out of his skull. Then a tender smile crossed his lips. "You're absolutely right, little Spark. Come one. I'll show you around."

Zuko followed through the winding corridors. He heard the faint thrum of happy voices and giggles. He heard Toph's gentle voice and Lin's squabble. Then, he heard and saw her.

"Sokka, what's taking so…"

Katara was as beautiful as ever. Her hair was pinned back, her cheeks slightly flushed. She looked as strong and powerful as ever, but little tell-tale things struck Zuko as Wife and Mother.

_Fuck me…_

He saw her in red. He saw her crowned in gold. He saw her holding two little bundles. He saw Zeeri and another little girl. He saw a boy to match the two in her arms. He saw his Uncle, back from the dead, laughing happily with his mother and Azula. He saw them together, Toph holding Lin. He saw Irax and Issa standing with their own bundle…

The dream shattered into a hundred thousand pieces when Aang appeared and kissed Katara on the temple.

"Kya wants help putting balloons up in the rafters," he said, snuggling against her.

The girl in question appeared next, holding a tiny little flying-lemur tightly in her arms as it purred. "Mummy, can Zeeri and I have some ice-cream?"

Katara's eyes strayed from Zuko's face for the first time, wide with fear and horror. Zuko's heart clenched. Kya's round face and dark skin made her look almost identical to her mother. Thick hair curved around her face, pulled back in a ponytail. A slight slant titled her brilliant cerulean eyes.

Her smile broke him.

Zeeri appeared. "I don't mean to be any trouble, Master Katara…"

"Its fine, Princess," Aang replied smoothly, moving off Katara. "Let's get that ice-cream, shall we?" He cats a quick look at Zuko and smiled. "Sorry, Sifu. Duty calls, you know?"

_And then there were two._

He couldn't speak. He couldn't make a sound. Every word he thought of came tumbling over his conscious, tripping over itself and making everything narrow. He remembered Kya's birth – vividly, the red tinging everything. Remembered what he had thought.

_Beautiful… you'll be a heartbreaker, like your mother so unknowingly was. You'll be a great waterbender, kind and caring. You'll have a free spirit and grow up in a happy place, where pirates don't stalk the nights. You'll grow up playing with Zeeri and the two of you will become the closest friends. I'm sorry that your mother couldn't hold you first. Sorry you had to see this horrible, twisted thing instead of your mothers beautiful face…_

He remembered the look Katara had. The frown. The panic.

Kya was a heartbreaker.

She broke his.

"She's mine. I always suspected… never… Azula… Kya is my daughter. She even… she looks like me… Zeeri will be so…"

"You need to leave. Now." He came up short, breath vanishing without a trace, heart ceasing its movements. Her eyes blazed. "I'll have Sokka bring Zeeri back to your apartments."

"Katara… Kya…"

"I can get Zeeri so you can say goodbye."

"Stop, Katara."

She wouldn't.

"I'm sure everyone will be a little disappointed, but you won't be missed. I'm sure they'll understand that you'll have Firelord duties to attend to. Besides, we wouldn't want to keep you, anyway. The Fire Nation is only now back on track after all the civil disputes."

"Katara."

She moved away from his outstretched hand. Hurt. Despair overcame everything. Rejection.

_Not again_… The funeral pyre burned to life.

"Just go."

"Katara…"

"You are not to come near my daughter, Zuko." His name had never been said as such a curse.

"Katara, please. Kya…"

"No one can know. No one can see you two together. I never realised it was so obvious until just now..." She closed her eyes and her whole body shuddered. She turned her back on him and started for the door. "She is Aang's daughter."

He reached for her again. He spun her around, made her face him.

And she flinched away from his face.

**xXx**

**Summer, 171ASC  
Six Months after the Equalist Revolution  
Fourth Year Of Firelord Zeeri's Reign  
**_  
When he was out – here, there, anywhere – alone, contemplating all the things he didn't do and the person he hadn't become ... if he thought about it too long a hush seeped into the grey space and the wind would hollow out his bones, and the purest kind of __loneliness would rise up from the inside to swallow him like an avalanche._

_It was a pleasurable, tortured pain. Anguish and desire. Regret and acceptance. He would wish a hundred-thousand different things, one for every star he saw, and know that they were empty words. That nothing would come of them, that nothing would ever come of them, because the Spirits had determined everything._

_He had spent a life time trying to atone for sins that weren't his to atone for and had wasted a life in the process. He had nothing to show of it. Except a legacy that wasn't really his (__The Avatar, with the help of the Firelord__) and a daughter who didn't know him at all. _

_He hated that._

_Zeeri had deserved so much better…_

_But he had kept her in the light, as far away from his shadows as possible. As far away from his mistakes and treasons, from his regrets. From his truths._

Hell was not a pit of fire and brimstone. Hell was waking up alone, the sheets wet with your tears and your seed, knowing the woman you had dreamed of would never come back to you.

Zuko had descended into hell and returned.

But he would give anything to go back, even if just for a moment. A night.

"Kya, I've been looking for you everywhere," she said, her words sugared in the tone he knew so well. Falsehood and warning. She was not happy. "Your brothers want to give a demonstration of some description."

"I'll be in a minute."

"Now."

Kya looked taken aback by her mother's sharp edge. "I'm talking to the Dragon Ambassador."

"Now, Kya."

"I'm not seventeen, mother. I can talk to men when I want. Especially if they are old enough to be my father."

She visibly recoiled and Zuko felt his last tether break. The last rope binding him to sanity snapped cleanly, violently.

"It's alright, Master Kya," he murmured, giving her a soft smile.

Kya hesitated but gave in to his quiet, unspoken demand. _Leave me alone with your mother._

"Thank you for answering my questions and not trying to burn me to a crisp. It was much appreciated." She gave a traditional Fire Nation bow and turned to leave. She brushed by her mother, coldness and frozen ice, but stopped short of leaving. "And it's Kya." With that, she stormed away into the hall.

For the first time in seventeen years, she was there. In front of him

For the first time in forty-seven years, they were completely and utterly alone.

"How dare you," She hissed, eyes burning in the darkness.

"Ka-"

"Do you know what they are saying? Do you know what they think?"

His mouth ran away with him. "Unfortunately, I'm not a telepath." Her face twisted in anger, frustration and hurt. His heart broke. "No, please. I… Kya… Just give me a chance before you push me away. That's all I ask."

His soft voice was a scream, but her silence was deafening. The horrible things she must have wanted to shout at him... all the things he wanted to say to her stuck in his throat and refused to move. He tried to spit them out, but they ran together creating static in his mind. He no longer wanted to see her, no longer wanted to talk to her. He only wanted to forget her.

He had moved towards her, grasped her arm, without even realising it. She pushed his hand away from her shoulder. He tried holding tighter. There every move became a tug of war. He wanted her closer. She couldn't move fast enough to get away from him.

"Let me go," she snarled.

"Not until you talk to me."

Suddenly, all control was gone. His hand snapped back, snapping, and he bot down hard on his lip to stop the shout of pain. His entire arm lurched away, completely free of his control, and he skidded backwards like she had pushed him.

Her eyes were wide and frightened. Just like the last time.

He cradled his arm to his chest and didn't make a move in her direction again. She was finally coming down from the shock and feeling that came with seeing him again. Cautiously, like a deranged animal was hunting him, he eased himself to a standing position.

"I'm sorry…" Hers a broken whisper to the night.

He wondered how long it had been since she had bloodbended.

He found his voice again. "I expected you to look different… I should have recognized your voice… I don't know what happened… I wouldn't have if I had known people would talk… I… didn't realise that I would hurt…"

_Should have, could have, would have. Did, did not. Empty words. _

"How could you not have imagined or thought…" She couldn't find the right words either. "Given our history, I don't want you touching me. Is that hard to comprehend?"

"It is for me. I actually know our history, and I touched you..."

"And how did that work out for me?"

His temper flared. "You can't make our entire relationship about that night. It's not fair. You don't know what you meant to me. You don't know anything. It could never be as wrong as you thought it was."

"Confessional is coming up. Was I married to someone else? Was I wrong to put my trust in you? Did you betray me? Tell me, out of all those, which were wrong?"

"None," he shouted. "I fucked everything up. Even when you know the truth, I'll still be the villain. Even though it wasn't my fault."

"Just like I thought."

"Excuse me?"

"You are never at fault. It is never your fault."

"Can you hear yourself? Majority of everything is my fault. Always has been. My mother leaving and killing my grandfather? My fault. My sister going nuts? My fault because I caused the root of her insanity. My wife dying? My fault. My fault, my fault, my fault. But the one time I wasn't at fault…"

"It was a mistake and mistakes are wrong."

"No they aren't! You learn from mistakes! You grow from mistakes!"

"And I grew from ours."

He flinched. He couldn't help it. It was what he had dreaded. What he had feared since she had told him to stay away all those years ago. He was a mistake. He had always been her mistake. She had never cared.

"You came to me that night."

Silence. The Loudest Sound.

"You came to me that night…" Caught. Frozen, Stuck. Stubborn. Breakable, all the same. "_Katara."_

**xXx**

**Spring, 113ASC  
Thirteenth Year of Firelord Zuko's Reign**

He'd rolled out of bed on the darkest watch of the night, awakened by one of his daughter's braver attendants. The story had poured out of the maid like storm-water off a roof. The Princess Zeeri was still not well. The Princess Zeeri was cold to the touch, not warm. It was almost like the baby was exhausted by the struggle of her birth, even though it had been a week ago.

Some nights though, especially at the beginning, he had sat by her crib, in the room that had once belonged to his mother and then her mother, all night. Alert. Tense. Waiting. She'd been so sick when she had been born. She hadn't cried out. Hadn't made a noise. Her body had been cold. But when Zuko had taken her up in his arms, unbuttoning his shirt and placing her little naked body against his broad chest moments after Issa's spirit had departed the world, and used his inner fire to warm her.

He was the only one who could calm her.

Zeeri was finally asleep, breathing evenly. He crept out of the room, through a secret passage a long-ago Firelord had installed, and arrived back in his chambers. He has forsaken his bed, and in his black pants, stood on the balcony that overlooked the Fire Rose Garden, Caldera City and bay. It was a beautiful sight and it usually filled him with warmth and ease.

But not tonight.

All he could see was white and red. White robes. Red flames. All he could hear was the sermon.

Irax had left, leaving for the United Forces Naval base off Whale Tail Island. Zuko knew that he was not coming back. Issa's memory haunted him here. His Uncle had had to depart for Ba Sing Se to stop a small uprising. He was alone in his grief.

Always alone.

His chest ached, right where Azula's lightning had hit, and he raised a hand reflectively, even though it caused him no pain. It was just a tingle. Reminding him that lightning coursed through his veins.

"I thought it had stopped hurting."

He froze, spinning around, and she stood in the doorway, cloaked in moonlight like a Spirit of the Night.

"It has. The pain… is different this time."

She doesn't move from his doorway. He sees that she wears the customary white of mourning, even though she is not Fire Nation. Then he realises that it is actually a silk night gown, with long sleeves that drape around her arms, moving like water over pebbles. The end of the sleeve falls to her knee in a bell shape.

He shouldn't, but he reacts. She is beautiful.

"I'm sorry," she whispers.

"Why?"

"Because I couldn't save her."

"Issa knew the risks. She knew. The Fire Sages said she wouldn't survive. But she wanted Zeeri so much…" He cleared his throat, looking away out over the glittering bay, rubbing the back of his neck. "Besides. What's another scar?

She titled her head, not saying another word. Then she moved, flowing like water until she stood in front of him. A vision from his darkest, deepest, purest dreams. Hesitantly, tentatively, she raised her hand and placed her cool palm against his burning chest. "So many scars…"

She traced each one.

That one was from a knife.

This one from his sister when they were five. An accident. She had been running with scissors.

That one was from his training. From Piando, the swords master.

This one was from an assassin.

That one from an insurgent.

This one from the man who was his father.

That one from Mai, long ago.

This one from the pirates.

That one from the explosion that nearly killed him, back in the North.

This one, that one. That one, this one. That, this, that. This, that, this.

Thousands of scars show his past but at least he knows who he is. Some saw him as a monster, like his father, like his grandfather, like all his ancestors. Some saw him as a martyr. But they all lied and hid while he sat back and watches.

He breaths in quickly as her finger traces the outline of the old bite-scar across his right shoulder and trapezoid. She looks up at him, questioning. "I was eighteen. The insurgents were hiding on the Jungle Island, off the east coast. A leopard-centipede-eel – six legs, agile, cunning, massive – managed to sink its teeth in. We ended up beating the insurgents."

She moves to another. "Mai. I pissed her off. I was twenty. We had been friends for three years."

Another. "Your brother got a lucky hit in in sparring practice."

Again. That scar. "You know how I got that one."

She bites her lip, worries it between pearl white teeth. "You're always the hero. Always saving me. Form the lightning. From the rubble at the Western Air Temple. From death."

He feels his heart speeding up as she continues to trace the star-scar over his heart. He grabs her hand, suddenly, moving so quickly she startles in fright. "I'm no hero."

"Zuko…"

"I'm not, Katara. Aang is a hero. I've done too many evil things. Killed too many people."

He turned away, locked the door to his heart and threw the key as far away as possible. The pyre of the dead burned behind his closed eyelids. The Fire Sages and Ash Sisters sung their funeral march in his ears. The loss clawed at his touch, his taste. He couldn't lose someone he never had to begin with.

But that is what would happen if she got close.

He felt calloused hands tug at his bare shoulders. He stood strong. She slipped around him, trailing lines of fire and ice wherever her fingers touched and brushed. She stood in front of him again.

"Zuko, please, don't shut me out." Pleading. Begging. Needing. Hoping. "Zuko, you aren't a monster. You're not. No…"

"Yes, Katara." Her eyes would be his tomb. "I see them all. Every man I have killed. Every woman. Every child I couldn't save. The victims of my father. The victims of my ancestors. They all come to me, seeking retribution. I've a hundred in the Civil War. I will kill so many more. Every time I sign an order, that means someone else will die. I am a monster."

"Stop it." Her voice is impossibly smooth. "Just stop it Zuko. You aren't a monster. You will never be a monster. Even if you can't, I do. I see the good in you. I see the honour and respect and love. I see the way you cared for Mai, even when she hated you. I have watched you with Azula. I have seen you forgive her time and time again. A monster does not have compassion. Does not have empathy. You are flawed." She flattens her right palm against his star-scar and cups his scarred cheek with her left. "You are everything you need to be. You are perfect. Scars and all."

Everyone has secrets; someday they'll know them all. Someday his will all come out.

But not tonight.

Tonight, he would make a new one.

When he kissed her, the fire blazed hotter and fiercer than before. He pressed against her with such heat he thought he'd surely melt into her and live in her bones. She kissed him back, hungrily, her lips and teeth and tongue starving for words unsaid and kisses unkissed for years. She knotted her fingers in his hair and ran them over his chest, leaving little marks of her own. She stroked his scars with the pad of her thumb, and there was lightning in her fingertips. She moaned when he stroked that spot on her thigh, and he broke away from her mouth to kiss her there…

**xXx**

**Summer, 171ASC  
Six Months after the Equalist Revolution  
Fourth Year Of Firelord Zeeri's Reign**

Her breath catches, and suddenly she isn't eighty-four anymore. She is twenty-eight and he is thirty. His wife has been dead a week, his daughter is finally asleep and she is there. Tangible. Touchable. Solid. Warm. Alive. Strong. Soft. Hard. Beautiful. Fragile. Breakable. Alive. Breathing.

"_Zuko, please, don't shut me out…"_

He had not shut her out. He had broken his own walls, the walls he had built to protect himself from her and against his better judgement, let her in. Then, she had shut him out. Permanently.

"Why did you, Katara? Why would you come to me like, Katara?" Now that he has spoken the forbidden, he cannot stop. He doesn't want to. Ever again. "Did you know that what happened would happen, Katara? Did you plan for that, Katara? Did you imagine the depth of my emotion? My pain? My torture? Did you know that I had shut you out because of what you meant to me, Katara? Did you realise that I couldn't lose the person I loved more the anything else in the world, Katara? Did you realise that that person was you, Katara?"

KataraKataraKataraKataraKatarakatarakatarakataraka tarakatarakatarakatarakatarakatarakatarakatarakata rakatarakatarakatarakatarakatarakatarakatarakatara katarakatara…

On and on and on and on. His heartbeat. His pulse. His life. His death. His hatred. His love. She was his everything. She always had been. She always would be.

"Don't so this."

It was far too late. Too long coming.

"Don't do what, Katara? Don't tell you that I loved you? That I loved you since I saw you bloodbend and cry out in the rain? Don't tell you that I loved you throughout my marriage? Don't tell you that Issa only married me so that we could keep peace, because she and Irax were actually in love and I loved you?" No more secrets. No more lies. "That I slept with her on our wedding night and never again? That her bed was with Irax?"

"Stop it…"

"That I only attended your wedding because I wanted to see you happy? That I nearly died on the same night you almost died, after telling you the story of the Blue Spirit? That I didn't want to live if you weren't alive?"

"Enough."

"No. It isn't."

"Stop it! Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop! That's enough! No more, no more!"

As Katara started crying, he realised that all his life he had known that this was going to happen, and that he had been afraid for a long time. But now it had grown, it had grown gigantic; it filled him and it filled the whole world. The pain started years ago, but he had lived with it for so long at that point that he had accepted it as an inevitable part of himself. She was colder by the moment; more dead to him with every breath he took. That was the fear: he had lost something important, and he cannot find it, and he needs it.

"I have the right to see her. Even if she doesn't realise what it means, she also has the right to talk to me." A flicker. More tears. "She told me that she felt a connection to me. Did you know that was what she felt?"

A choked sob. A broken keen. She is crumbling.

_Why am I killing her?_

"She was never close to Aang." He froze. Her voice was broken. Her voice was all the emotion she had locked away for years. "She was so much like me, but not. She was never like Aang, though. And he noticed. And every time he remarked on it, her distance or attitude, I would go cold and hot. I was shamed and proud. I never told him… and he believed all my lies." She looked up, finally meeting his eyes. "That's the most disgusting thing about it. That he believed the lies. Never suspected. Never gave a second-thought. Not Sokka. Not Toph. Not one of them thought that she wasn't his, even though she was nothing like him."

"Katara…"

"I knew, Zuko."

Time stops. Hell must be frozen over, because she has said his name. Zuko. A prayer upon broken lips. A dark whisper.

"I knew what she felt. I knew that she wanted to meet you. You were something just beyond her reach. She always asked Aang why she hadn't met his firebending Sifu. Aang always said that you were too busy. That she and I were too busy with her waterbending training. That the Fire Nation was too far away. That it still wasn't safe. I never knew why Aang never went to see you, but Spirits, every time I thought about it I would go cold. Did he know? Did he know about…?"

Silence again.

"He never knew. We just… fought. He wanted things done one way. He didn't like the way I was handling the insurgents and the Ozai supporters. I grew tired of his shit and did everything but actually tell him to fuck off," Zuko whispered.

_One secret now known…_

She nodded. "That's what he said, when I finally did ask. Around her tenth birthday…"

It all came back to that time.

"I only saw her twice in fifty-seven years." Suddenly, that anger was back. That hatred. That venom. That dark, twisting thing inside of him. "I only saw Kya once. From a distance. Then you separated us. I helped bring her into his world, and you took her away. Then, I saw her through glass. She was ten. I had missed so much. Then you took her away again."

Flame in the ocean. Eyes the windows to the soul. "You had Zeeri."

"And she is my everything. Zeeri is my life, my heart and my soul. But still, you wouldn't even let me say hello. Wouldn't even let me say her name. That's the thing Katara."

"You had no right."

"I had every right!"

"No you didn't! Aang raised her. He loved her. He taught her. You did nothing"

"And whose fault was that?"

She turned to leave. His heart shattered, the place that's he owned dissolving into fragments of agony. She was going to leave him again. For good.

He grabbed by her waist and spun her around, pulling her against his chest.

She pushed away.

"No Katara. You are not going to make yourself the victim. I'm not going to let you blame me anymore."

"I never blamed you, Zuko!" She screams. "That's why I kept you away!" Tears.

"It wasn't fair." His cheek feels wet. His good eye stings.

"Life isn't fair, Zuko! It hasn't been fair to you, to me, to your daughter, or to my daughter."

"She isn't your daughter…"

She cracked. He broke her and she shattered just like his heart. "Fine! Our daughter!" Heaving, violent, painful sobs. "And that's why she can never know! Because it will kill her, it will destroy the peace we worked so hard to create. It will ruin the world that we built up. It will tear the people in half. She is the catalyst to our destruction."

The sound of glass breaking. The world moves slowly. The stars gleam dully. The night is consuming. The voices fade to white. His heart evens out. His breathing stops.

A secret never to be told…

* * *

_To be continued in  
the House of Ruins..._

* * *

******Authors Note: **

Look whose back from the unknown!

"I gave myself a deadline - HOUSE of CROWS finished by LEGEND OF KORRA/BOOK 2/SPIRITS PREMIERE."

So yeah. I missed the deadline (its Saturday here).

AND LEGEND OF KORRA SEASON 2 IS NOT OUT IN AUSTRALIA!

**FML**

**Note1:** I will not put my ranting's for Part 7 here, as I am adding that last chapter. So, this is the shortest AUTHORS NOTE to date. House of Ruins should be up by Sunday evening (hopefully everything goes well!).

House of Crows is: definitely different, something I have (personally) never seen before. Special thanks to author EmaniaHilel, who writes incredible, wonderful, magical stuff for (or, used to write incredible, wonderful, magical stuff for) the _Teen Titans._ Her Robin/Raven (BEST PAIRING EVER! Besides Zuko/Katara anyway) collections and short stories are marvellous and my INSPRIATION for this little journey.

Read & Review

- Eternity In Seconds


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